Interrupted
My Life Thus Far
Crap Warmed Over
****
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I
have ended up where I intended to be.
Douglas Adams
The day went by fast. Probably because I spent most of it
in bed, feeling like crap warmed over. As nice a sentiment
as being pregnant is, it sure as hell isn't a walk in the
park. I don't enjoy it much, which leads me to wonder why
I've done it so many times. Most of them not by choice,
but at least 2 times I knowingly and willingly let myself
become knocked up. I think I'm missing a vital lobe in my
brain. The part that allows me to remember past bad
decisions and not repeat them again. I miss that lobe. Not
that I think having a baby is a bad idea, it just isn't
exactly what I'd had in mind right now. I hardly think the
timing is right and I feel like it's some kind of
punishment, but maybe this is just the hormones talking. I
also had the urge to kick the cat down the stairs a few
days ago and I stopped myself from doing that, so I'm sure
I'll come out of this negative state of mind as well.
We had a nice day as a semi-family (Annie was off with
Selena, doing god knows what). Gen and Sam invited us out
to dinner, so around 5:45pm, we went to Red Robin for
dinner. Tonight is Homecoming night for a few of the
neighboring school districts, so the place was crawling
with scantily clad teenage girls and their hormonally
challenged dates. Have I mentioned I don't like teenagers
very much? I suppose I have nothing against them
individually, but when they come in packs, I want to turn
the other way. But, tonight I was surrounded. Being in a
perpetual state of bitchiness is a hard way to live. I'm
surprised I still have friends, although I have lost a
couple in the past few days for other reasons. More on
that later.
After dinner, Snookums and I took Kiki to Coldstone
Creamery for dessert. It was so cute watching her eat the
little kiddie cone they gave her. She had it running down
her hands, on her shirt, all over her face. Thankfully it
was pale ice cream (cake batter) and not chocolate. She
finished it off like a champ. Cone and all. Snookums had
to remove the paper, or she probably would have eaten
that, too.
Now back to the "friend" drama. Since I found out I'm
pregnant I haven't been to the club. What's the point? I'm
tired, cranky, can't drink, can't smoke. What other reason
is there to go? Anyhow, one of the girls I used to be
acquaintances with accused me of saying something about
her (which I couldn't have said, because I haven't been
there and she said she found out about it last week). So,
she tried to get froggy with me on myspace. I squashed
that real fast. The exchange of messages ended with her
apologizing to me for her comments. Now this other girl,
who's really her friend, not mine anyhow, doesn't want to
be on my friends list, because I did something to her
girl. This is exactly why I don't deal with other people.
I'm not a gossiper. I don't give a shit about anyone, but
myself, my close friends and my family. No one's life is
more interesting than mine (to me). It's no loss really, I
only ever saw them the occasional weekend. They weren't my
kind of people anyway. They're younger than me (barely 21)
and spend all of their time club hopping, partying and
getting into dramatic situations because they have nothing
else to do. I don't have time for that. I have higher
priorities. I don't need those kind of people in my life.
Good riddance to both of them.
That's all for now. I'm only staying up because I'm
waiting for Annie to come home. She went bowling with
Selena and some other kids (Selena's mom is chaperoning)
and she still isn't home yet. I hope she gets here soon. I
want to go to bed. Ciao for tonight.
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