Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2007-09-10 03:56:27 (UTC)

Making "Romance"

****

We are here
to help
each other.

Polar Eskimo Saying.

I woke up this morning feeling pretty damn good,
considering. (If you don't know what "considering" means,
read the last 3 entries, you'll figure it out). After I
wrote last night, I decided to make the most of the
situation and see if I could get Jason to see things my
way. He wants sex on command these days. I take it as a
form of punishment for straying, but it shouldn't be that
way. If I'm going to stay in this marriage, I shouldn't be
forced to feel like a concubine or a sex slave. I think I
deserve some enjoyment, too. So, I lit some candles in the
bedroom, put on soft music and some lingerie (because I
sure as hell have enough of the stuff) and called him to
the bedroom.

He walked in kind of surprised, because he wasn't
expecting anything other than my quiet submittal. We
talked a little beforehand. I told him some of the things
I like (that I learned from Ron) and some of the things I
don't like (that I realized I didn't like because Ron
never did them) and I told him how I felt about the
whole "ordering me to bed" thing. I may have made a
mistake, but I'm not paying for it with my body.

I told him that I hate it when he says he wants to fuck or
have sex. It feels dirty and distant to me. He doesn't
like the term "making love" because it sounds too sappy
(whatever, that's fine. I'll save that for Ron anyway,
because that's what it is with him), so we settled for
making "romance". He thought that was a nicer way of
putting it, without having to feel silly saying making
love. So, that's what we did. 3 times in a row, with only
5 minutes in between. Total session coming in at a little
over an hour. It wasn't nearly as bad as it has been. He
even made me come once. Accidentally, I'm sure.

Today wasn't a bad day. The weather was really nice and
since this being Washington State, it isn't destined to
stay this way much longer, so we took the girls to the
beach for the last time this year. It's always sad
realizing that the warm weather is coming to an end, but
it is. You can feel the chill in the breeze when you're
next to the water. I got some pictures, though. So, I'll
be putting those up on my myspace.

I'd better be going now. My diary time is coming to an
end. Snookums has me on a short chain these days. It seems
like he's always watching me...Maybe because he is. Ciao.




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