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Maelstrom143, By Sun or Candlelight
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2007-09-04 04:01:56 (UTC)

Loneliness...revisited

don't call me anymore...
i can't take the loneliness that is in my heart everytime
we talk about the day and how it's gone
all we speak of is everyone else and and what they require
of you and me; banal things and everyday needs, no real
personal touch any longer exists.
i don't want to feel the longing for a touch of heaven
upon my soul nor feel the dry tears that sear my soul when
your voice addresses me, trying to find common ground
where the bridge once stood that now is gone, if it ever
really existed at all.
it used to be we spoke to each other's soul or was it just
all in my mind? my wishful thinking once upon a time? did
i imagine it all? the friendship, the warmth? the common
ground where we used to meet and touch each other's heart?
did we ever really meet or did you just humor me along?
it does not matter, i guess it really does not matter any
more
i am just tired of feeling so very lonely and hurt and
alien in a land whose features are no longer clear or
friendly
maybe i imagined it all...the closeness, the humor, the
best of friends...maybe i just wanted it to be so much
that i fooled myself into seeing rainbows in a barren
wasteland.
did you ever really feel that we were closer than just
friends or did you just humor me so as not to cause me
pain?
now i know why you would not try to fix things if they
broke...i don't blame you much...not anymore...i can't
make you feel for me something more than what is in your
soul
maybe what you give will be enough once i steel myself
against the searing pain within my heart.
when i think of what a fool i have been to create a world
of swirling misty dreams...maybe someone like me was never
meant to be with anyone, for my soul seems alien to
everyone when i have spent enough time in their company.
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