Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2007-09-02 08:03:18 (UTC)

Wallow In The Squalor

****

I can choose relaxation or stress. detachment or control,
acceptance or dominance, freedom or attachment, peace or
strife, joy or sorrow, and bliss or misery.

Jim McGregor

I'm tired. Beyond tired, but I didn't write last night, so
I feel the need to write tonight. I had a great time last
night. As you well know, Friday is my night out. Once a
week I like to go buck-wild and sow some wild oats. I did
just that last night. Snookums was being a dickhead all
day. I don't know what crawled up his ass and died, but it
was not cool. So, I skipped out on him early. Around
7:30pm. I went out to dinner with a friend and then went
to Mako's as usual. I'm not at liberty to go any more in
depth than that :) I know Snookums didn't like the fact
that instead of pleading and begging him to tell me what
was wrong, I instead, left him to wallow in the squalor of
his own sense of injustice. I still don't know what was
wrong with him and I don't care. He can deal with it
himself. I'm tired of trying to read his emotions all the
time.

By the time I got home around 3am, he was a lot more sober
(and I don't mean in the drinking sense). He was happy to
see me and very affectionate. Not the response I was going
for (I was hoping to find him passed out and snoring, so I
wouldn't have to talk to him), but oh well. We laid in bed
and talked a little about his feelings and why he spent
the majority of the day with his head up his ass. I was
half asleep, so I don't remember what we talked about. It
was like a dream. I just know we talked and he was in a
good mood when I finally woke up around noon today.

We lounged around the house most of the day. I took a nap
on the couch, then another one in bed. I don't remember
much of today. I slept. I love sleeping. I sleep so well
now. Probably because I find it far more pleasant than
trying to relate to Snookums. We seem to have so little in
common since he came home. Sad, huh? I'm starting to think
that all of my excessive sleeping has something to do with
running from something. I can't put my finger on it, but
I'm not bothered when I'm asleep and I don't have to think
when I'm asleep. It's peaceful and an escape. One day I'm
going to have to wake up and face whatever it is I'm
subconsciously running from.

Snookums dragged me out of bed around 5pm. We took a
shower together (along with Kiki, who is now very aware
and fascinated by her father's penis. Poke:Poke,
multiplied by 10, until I figured she probably shouldn't
be so fascinated anymore. Maybe it's my past abuse, but I
don't know where these sort of boundaries are supposed to
go up. Do you let her play with it, or do you snatch her
up and never let her see a penis again until she's 37
years old? I don't know). We went into Silverdale to see
if Snookums could get his hair cut. He couldn't every
salon was booked solid, but we went out to dinner, which
was nice. Just the Chinese Buffet. It isn't fancy, but
it's good.

We got home late and put the girls to bed as soon as we
got home. I don't know why I didn't write then, but I did
it now, so be grateful! I'm kidding. Anyhow, that's all
for today. I think there might be some interesting
developments on the horizon, but I'll bite my tongue until
something goes down. Oh, the suspense! Ciao.




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