Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2007-08-24 04:08:53 (UTC)

I'm Not Interested

****

Whether you be man or woman
you will never do anything in this
world without courage. It is the
greatest quality of the mind next
to honor.

James L. Allen

I did absolutely nothing today and it felt damn good. I
didn't do a thing. I didn't wash a single dish, piece of
clothing or surface in the house (Snookums did). I didn't
change one dirty diaper (Snookums did). I didn't cook a
single meal (Snookums did). In fact, my biggest
accomplishment was getting out of bed to show him what
needed to be done in the house and then praising him for
his work when he was done. What did I do the rest of the
day? I slept. I was the queen. The angel as Snookums put
it. He figured that my job of being here at home without
him and with the kids was more daunting than him being
away on the ship. I don't know about that. I think in
different ways both of our situations were hard and easy.
He had a rigid schedule, lots of work, little luxury and
none of the comforts of home. But he didn't have to take
care of the kids or deal with bills or clean a house after
two little hellions destroyed it. He didn't really have to
clean anything other than his rack. He delegated cleaning
tasks to his underlings. Lucky him. I wish I had a few
people I outranked that I could push around. What fun. In
all actuality, I'm sure his job was much harder than mine.
But if he wants to think he had it easier and I deserve to
do nothing, then more power to him. I'll take it. He's a
good man.

The girls were all over him today. Annie was practically
attached to his hip most of the time, and although I could
tell it was irritating him, he took it because he's been
gone so long and he didn't want to upset her. Kiki was a
little aloof at first. She wouldn't talk to him, or go to
him. She's smile at him and play with him, but if she
wanted or needed something she'd still come ask me for it.
By the end of the day, she accepted that mommy wasn't good
for anything and if she wanted something, she should go
straight to the horse's mouth...that being daddy. Who says
she isn't a smart child?

I'm going back to bed. Snookums wants me to take a shower
with him tonight. I'm a little nervous about that. I don't
know why I'm nervous about having sex with him, touching
(mainly him touching me) or being intimate with him.
Kissing him is even a little strange. I'm kind of grateful
my period came on yesterday. It's given me time to adjust
to him before I have to "give it up" to him. Although, I
am getting a little tired of his erections poking me every
5 minutes. Giving in might alleviate that unpleasant side
effect of "starvation", but I'm not ready. I suppose I
should cut him some slack. He hasn't had any sexual
gratification in 7 months. I'm sure that isn't easy. I
think a huge part of my problem is that I don't want to be
let down by it's anti-climacticness (I think I just made
that word up). I know it's going to be over in 3 minutes
or less (if I'm lucky) and there's no way I'm getting off
in that amount of time, so there's no interest there for
me. Harsh words, I know, but this is where I write how I
feel. I'm not interested. What a shame.

Well, it's shower time. Ciao and I'll write again tomorrow.




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