Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2007-07-26 04:12:02 (UTC)

Painfully Cruel Barbaric Torture

***

Recovery is about learning that you have a choice: You can
choose to be hopeful rather than hopeless; you can choose
to act from faith rather than react from fear; and you can
choose to enjoy life rather than merely survive it.

Donna Newman

I didn't write last night because I forgot. By the time I
remembered, I was in the bathroom washing off my makeup
and getting ready for bed. It was late anyway and I didn't
have a remarkable enough day to warrant putting off going
to bed. So, here I am now. Yesterday was okay. Just okay.
Better than today, but not anything great.

I had therapy yesterday morning, which went okay. I don't
feel that I've got much to say to him, yet I am drawn to
continue going. I'm not sure why. Dr. Martin is a somewhat
goofy kind of guy. He's religious (which bothers me a
teeny bit) and keeps telling me to make friends. I'm not
sure why I keep going back. Maybe it's because every week
I'm waiting for that moment when he tells me something
really profound that chances the course of my life
forever...I'm still waiting.

Work was good. It went by really quickly. For some reason
they had a gaggle of us working. I found this strange,
because usually there are two people in the entire store
until about 1:30pm, but when I got there a little after
9am, there was already three people there and another two
arrived around noon. Weird. I don't know what that
scheduling program is thinking. There is no need for that
kind of coverage on a Tuesday morning. So, Leah and I got
to go home early. I didn't go home, though. At least not
right away.

I got my nails done. I was entertaining the idea of having
them removed. I was getting irritated by them. My natural
nails were growing up underneath and getting dirty and
lifting. I was tired of them. So, I had them removed
(which is painfully cruel barbaric torture. She basically
just pried them off my fingers with an artificial tip and
a pair of clippers. Pain). I took one look at my natural
nails and said "I'll take a new set, please". They looked
like crap, they were weak and brittle and looked terrible.
I've got an image to uphold! So, I've got a new set now,
which made all of my irritation go away, because the
problems I was having are gone. These one's are new and
clean and my natural nails have been trimmed short, so
it'll be a couple months before I entertain the idea of
getting rid of them again.

Today was like a Saturday, only it wasn't. I didn't have
to work today, Annie didn't have any field trips at
daycare and Kiki never has anything going on at daycare,
so I figured, why bother driving them to daycare. I have
no need to leave my house! So, I didn't. But, by about 4pm
I felt like I needed to get out. So, I went to the gym. I
love working out again. I'm not feeling obsessive about it
(because of my meds), but I do like a nice 30 minute stint
on a cardio machine. Preferably an elliptical.

When I got home, there was a message from my landlady.
Strange, because I only talk to her around Christmas. So,
I called her back. She's thinking of selling the condo and
wants to do an inspection to see what she needs to do to
put it on the market. Okay. I wasn't expecting that. Good
think Snookums and I were planning on going into housing
anyway. We need more room and I want a yard for the girls.
For some reason, this put me in a crappy mood. I hate
moving. I don't want to move. I do, but I don't. I'd love
it if someone else would move everything for me. I'd go to
work and then come home and everything could be all done
for me? I won't hold my breath. So, that's why it's only a
3 star day. Poo.

On a happy note, my dad is coming to visit! He flies in on
the 2nd and he leaves on the 16th. Two weeks. My brother
is in Japan visiting his grandparents for the next month.
He's already been gone a month, so I'm sure dad is lonely.
I know I am. After dad leaves, there will be only 6 days
left until Snookums gets home. Just enough time to myself
mentally prepared.

I need a shower. I stink. Ciao.




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