Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2007-07-14 02:27:27 (UTC)

Hell Can't Be Too Much Worse Than This

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Put knowledge, faith, and ideals into action...

That would be great if I had knowledge, faith or ideals.
At this point I'm starting to think I don't...

If you hadn't noticed, I haven't written in a couple days.
I'm not entirely sure why. I just didn't feel like it.
I've taken a dip in my state of mind. Back into the pits
of depression and despair. I don't know what to do.
Nothing helps me feel happy. Nothing makes me get that
warm, secure, content feeling. I think at some point, I'm
going to get tired of trying and I'll end up killing
myself. I tried twice before, but I didn't know what I was
doing. All I managed was to give myself a really bad
headache after a very long nap. Suicide is a coward's way
out, but hell can't be too much worse than this.

Gen had her baby on the 11th. His name is Cyrus. He's very
cute for a newborn. Some newborns look like aliens or are
just plain ugly, but he's a cute newborn and I don't
bestow that complement lightly. I don't gush very easily
over any baby I see, but he's cute.

There really isn't much to write about the days I missed.
I can't think of one distinctive moment that stands out to
me, other than Gen's baby and I already told you about
him. She's doing fine, by the way. Better than I was after
Kiki was born.

I need to go feed my girls. God, I just feel so sad. So
down in the dumps. I want to go shopping or something to
lift my spirits, but I can't. I already owe too much money
on my credit cards and all of Snookums paycheck needs to
go to bills. Bills, bills and more bills. Money sucks. Why
is it so damn important? Ciao.




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