Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2007-06-30 03:26:54 (UTC)

The 25 Year Old I Envisioned Myself To Be

***

Try not to worry. Try to look at what you're going through
as a challenge rather than an obstacle, a time to develop
patience. To achieve more objectivity, detach yourself
from the struggle. Have confidence in yourself, and
realize that you can change your attitude even if you
can't change the circumstances.

Look closely at your troubles. Don't let them cause you to
give up. Befriend them and learn from them. Feel them lose
their power over you. Allow them to teach you what you
want to know and move on. Try not to be afraid.

You're a survivor. You're going to handle this. You're
going to find strength you didn't know you had and grace
to deal with whatever comes along. pretty soon, you'll be
on the other side, and it's just a matter of time until
you will look back on this time in your life and draw
strength from the knowledge that even though the road was
rocky, you persevered and carried on.

Donna Fango

I don't feel like writing, because I'm tired and
irritated. I'm not sure why, but I am and that's all I
care about. I think I'm tired because I don't sleep well,
I don't get exercise like I used to and I eat garbage and
I'm irritated because my life is boring and I have nothing
interesting to write about. I know people only care about
the interesting moments in my life, but the reality is,
those moments are few and far between.

Today was much like yesterday. Work. I went to work, I
picked up the girls and I came home. Part of me fights
change, doesn't want to accept it and then there's the
other part that's SCREAMING out for a change. I want to do
SOMETHING other than what I do everyday. I want some
spice. Some variety. Something interesting to write about.
Something FUN to do. Something other than just the usual.
Work, therapy, childcare and boring weekends. I'm ready to
sow my wild oats, only now I'm too old to do so and I've
got baggage (in the form of a husband and children)
holding me back. I know I shouldn't say this, but I HATE
my life. I want to be the 25 year old I envisioned myself
to be when I was 15. Fun, pretty and doing all the things
I'll probably never get to do now that my life has taken
another turn. I won't get to date other people. I won't
get to travel extensively. I won't get to go to parties
with fun and interesting people. I won't get to sleep all
day, party all night and be hungover whenever I please.
Now I'm just idealizing what the "other" me would have
been like, because no one gets to live exactly the life
they imagined, but not as many people are as far from that
dream as me.

I sound pathetic, so I might as well shut up. Nothing good
to say is a sure sign I need to stop writing. Ciao.




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