Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2007-06-03 03:01:42 (UTC)

I'm Just Keeping It Real

****

Well, I'm not sitting in a clean house right now. I'm
sitting in a semi-cleaned, not-as-bad-as-it-was-house.
Around 4pm, I lost all desire to clean. I lost momentum
and never got it back. I'm happy to say I've only got one
more load of laundry to wash, but I've got an entire
bedroom of laundry to put away. So, basically the mountain
shifted. From the hallway to the bedroom.

Sometimes I hate being a wife and mother. Even though I
knew the requirements before getting into it, I still
wasn't ready. Who is at 16 (when I became a mother) and 21
(when I became a wife). I'm still not ready, though. I'd
rather be in Beverly Hills starving myself, popping pills
and fighting alcoholism in one of those posh rehab
retreats. Well, maybe not really, but it sounds way more
self-centered than taking care of children, cleaning the
house and mailing care packages to a deployed husband. I'm
too selfish for this job. Wives and mothers care about
their families more than themselves. I don't fit that
profile. It may sound like I'm being hard on myself, but
I'm not. I'm just keeping it real.

I kind of feel my second wind coming. Finally. After I put
the girls to bed, I might be able to get some more
cleaning done. It's hard working with them running around.
It also doesn't help that I don't want to do it. Ciao
until tomorrow.




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