Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2007-05-21 06:08:44 (UTC)

Battling Depression; My Constant State Of Existence

***

I managed to take a shower...yea me. I wish I could say
today was a wonderful, fantabulous, amazing day. I can't.
Because in reality, it was just another day. I know I
shouldn't sit back and wait for fun and exciting things to
happen to me. I have to play an active role in my life and
stop waiting for things to come to me. It's just so hard
when you're battling depression. Even the smallest chores
feel like climbing Mt. Everest. I wish depression wasn't
my constant state of existence. I deserve to be happy like
everyone else on Earth does. It just comes easier for some
than others. I'm an other.

Now, because I've spent the weekend doing nothing,
sleeping and laying around like a barnacle on a rock, I
can't sleep. I've laid in bed for two hours trying to
sleep, but it eluded me. I can't fall asleep. So, as it
does each week, I'll stay up until all hours of the night,
wake up sleep deprived in the morning and the vicious
cycle will continue all week. Until next weekend when I
sleep for 36 hours (give or take) again. What will it take
to break this cycle?

Willpower. Something I don't have. Ciao.




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