Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2007-05-15 03:20:05 (UTC)

5 LBS Of "Not Butter"

****

I got no sleep whatsoever last night. Not a wink. I can't
believe I feel as good as I do right now, considering.
I've gotten 8 hours of sleep and felt worse than I do now.
It's funny how that works. I'll tell you one thing, my
behind is hitting the bed the second the girls are down.
I've got to work the opening shift tomorrow and there's no
way I'll make it to 5:30 with less than a full night's
sleep to make up for last night.

I met my new psychologist today. His name is Dr. Jack
Martin. I like his name. It's normal, whatever that means.
He's very intellectual, insightful and methodical. I like
that. He seems stable and predictable. No surprises. Lord
knows I've had enough of those in my life. He agrees with
all the diagnosis I received last year from the counselor
I was seeing at CAPS. The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder,
Severe Depression, OCD tendencies and he added a new one
into the mix. Anxiety. I never thought of myself as
anxious, but I suppose it makes sense. We talked about my
life from birth until now (as much of it as I can
remember) and my family history (my mother's insanity). He
didn't push me too much and I didn't cry, so I consider it
a success. I see him once a week. Next Tuesday is my next
appointment. He's also referring me to a psychiatrist for
different meds. He doesn't think the Celexa is nearly
strong enough and it doesn't target the right receptors in
my brain. It was like a band-aid on a bullet wound. Now it
can't even cover the surface of my wounds.

After my appointment, I did a little recreational
shopping. I went to this store called Stupid Prices, which
is supposed to have name brand stuff at major discounts.
It was okay, if you need a flat screen tv or a new sofa,
but since I'm not in the market for anything like that, I
just moved on. I went on the search for two-way radios. I
want to get a set so I can keep in contact with Annie when
she goes to the park, but it seems everyone has rushed out
to buy two-ways, because Target, Wal-mart and Best Buy
didn't have anything to suit my needs. All that was left
was the $100 long range hunting models. I don't think
Annie will be wondering 18 miles away from home any time
soon. Not if she values her life. So, I'll give it a
little time. They'll restock and I'll get a nice little
$30 model that will suit our needs.

Gen and I did our coffee thing (which I SO needed after a
night of no sleep). We went to Costco so I could get some
staples (diapers, paper towels, toilet paper), then I came
home for a nap, that I ended up not getting because I was
over-tired and couldn't come down off the coffee. I almost
wanted to cry like Kiki does when she's over-tired. I'm
getting sleep tonight! If I have to take a Vicodin to do
it.

Oh and before I forget. I bought a tub of I Can't Believe
It's Not Butter from Costco. 5 LBS of "Not Butter" (as my
receipt called it). Gen and I are conducting a scientific
experiment to see how long it takes me to use the whole 5
LB tub. So, the timer starts now. Ciao, my ass is going to
bed.




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