Interrupted
My Life Thus Far
Let Them Eat Steak!
****
Work wasn't too bad today. Now that I'm pregnant, I'm
getting even more special treatment than I was getting
when I was just the credit goddess. Longer, more frequent
breaks, no heavy lifting or latter-climbing and everyone
is always careful what they say to me (maybe because I cry
about everything). Over the past week, my mood has changed
extraordinarily. I'm happier because I know why my
emotions are all over the place, but I'm even more moody
because of the hormones. That might not have made any
sense, so I'll just stop now and leave it at I'm happy.
After work, I got a voicemail from Gen asking if I wanted
to do dinner or something. That sounded great to me,
because I'm all about food right now. It's like I HAVE to
eat when I feel I HAVE to eat or I get really nauseous and
dizzy. Which isn't a great feeling, so it makes you want
to obey your body. All day my body told me it wanted
STEAK. MEAT, MEAT, MEAT, MEAT, STEAK, MEAT MEAT. That's
what I heard all day. So, I'm assuming I'm lacking in the
iron department after 6 months of strict vegetarianism, so
I caved and had steak. I don't even consider it caving. I
just ate what I wanted (heaven forbid). I think I'm
allowed to do that once in awhile. Gen, Ron, the girls and
I went to Outback for dinner and it was well worth the
long wait for a table. I ate all but a couple of bits of a
12oz sirloin and a baked potato. I'm feeling very
wonderful now, but I'm wondering how I'll feel later. Will
the unaccustomed red meat send my bowels on a revolt? Or
will my body just be grateful for the rush of iron and
forgive me? I don't know, we'll see. I was good in one
regard, though. No dessert. Right now I'd much rather have
a big juicy beefsteak tomato than a chocolate anything.
I forgot to mention last night, but I'm thinking about it
now, so I'll mention it now. Annie's father paid more in
child support, without even being told to. He paid $67.50
even though he only owes $25. So, he's making an attempt
at paying his back child support (which is now only $175).
Sometimes I think I have Munchausen Syndrome or something.
I have to try hard not to feel empathy, love or compassion
for my stepfather, when I know damn well none of those
emotions are required of me or even expected. No one would
fault me for hating him, but I don't. He was my daddy for
many years. The only father I knew for a very long time.
It's hard to let that go. I've got my REAL dad now, so I
don't think of Ken as a father-figure anymore, but I can't
erase my memories.
I'm ready to sleep now. I think I'll go put some sweats on
and curl up in bed. I plan on sleeping in late tomorrow.
Even if it means I have to have Kiki in bed with me,
eating crackers and sticking her finger up my nose. I'm
staying in bed as long as possible! Ciao!
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