Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2007-03-20 04:10:09 (UTC)

Why Are We The Way We Are?

***

I felt a little better today. I wanted to crawl out of the
self-imposed cave I've hid myself in, but as it turns out
Gen is nowhere near here. She and Sam went to Yakima. I
would have know this if I'd called her or communicated
with her, instead of turning into myself, like I so often
do when I'm unhappy. Why do I have to be the way I am?
That may sound like a redundant question, but really
consider it. Why are we the way we are? What incidents in
our lives affect how we'll act (or turn out) and what
doesn't? Is it different for everyone? Did falling and
scrapping my knee at 3 have a bigger impact on who I am
today than me getting married at 21? Some scientist should
invent an impactometer. A device that helps you understand
what is important in life and what you should put out of
your mind. I'm sure it would save millions the stress and
heartache we put ourselves through. Hmmm. I might just
have to patent that idea...

Kiki had therapy today, which is going better than when
she started. She still cries for about 10 minutes after I
drop her off, but after she forgets, she gets into the
tactile activities, like the bird seed, or beans they have
in tables for the children to play with. She still isn't
much of a participant, but I'm assuming that will come in
time.

Work was okay. I swear they're either trying to take me
out of my element or they hate me for turning down
management, but they put me up in PINK today instead of at
the register. It's okay. I love working there period, it
just seems strange that they'd want me out of my comfort
zone. Since I actually perform a necessary function for
them. Brittany did good at the register, she got 3 cards,
but I bet I could have done better. I have before. I'm not
bitter about it, though. It gave me a little downtime.
Straightening panty tables is very therapeutic and gives
you lots of time to think. I know they all feel sorry for
me because Snookums is gone, but I wish they didn't. I
don't need their pity. I give myself enough as it is!

Annie and Kiki didn't have such spectacular days (other
than Kiki's good therapy session). After I dropped Kiki
off at daycare, only 5 minutes after I left, some kid (the
same one it always is) bit Kiki on the back because she s
at in a chair he wanted. I'm sick of this kid biting my
baby. I know it's the same kid all the time. Why don't
they move him!? Annie's day was going fine until she got
home. I guess she gave Aqua a bit too much food this
morning and the poor fish was floating upside down when we
came in. He was doing fine this morning, but I warned her
that would happen. She took it really well and even
flushed his body herself. She's such a resilient child.

The house isn't in too terrible a state, although I do
need to tackle the laundry. I started this weekend, but
you know how I am about it. I also discovered that the new
laundry basket I bought holds TWICE the clothes of my old
one, so even though it looks small, it's almost like it's
bottomless. The clothes just kept coming. 6 loads later
the thing was finally empty and I was left wondering how
so much fit in something so compact looking. It was
amazing. Having a bottomless laundry basket is both a good
thing and a bad thing. Depends on what frame of mind I'm
in at that moment.

Speaking of laundry. I need to stop talking about it and
actually get to doing something about it. It ain't going
to do itself! Ciao and goodnight.




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