Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2007-02-13 07:45:24 (UTC)

Anything Outside Of Necessary

****

The days are starting to run together. It seems like every
couple of hours I end up here. Sitting in front of the
computer, writing in my diary, trying to coax myself to
bed sometime before dawn. Gym, Starbucks, work, gym - this
seems to be the pattern of my life. All I can manage to
handle. I need to do the dishes. My laundry is draped over
the rocking chair in the corner of my room. My desk is
covered in papers. Some important, some not so. Snookums
wants me to take pictures of myself and the girls to send
to him, but I don't even feel like doing that. I don't
want to do anything outside of necessary. If I don't snap
out of this soon, everything is going to come crashing
down around me. I'm the glue of this family. I'm the one
that holds things together. If I'm not strong, then who
will be? I think I need to see my doctor again.

Despite the underlying sadness that's always present (and
therefore becoming normal and almost accepted), I'm doing
fine. I'm back on track as far as diet and exercise is
concerned (although I did kind of have a carb breakdown
last night. Nothing too detrimental). Work is good and the
girls are doing okay. Nothing overtly bad has happened in
the almost month Snookums has been gone. Can you believe
it's almost a month? In 4 days. Crazy. Anyhow, for the
most part I think I'm doing okay. Things could be a lot
worse.

Work was especially good for me today. We got our gratis
for this month (free stuff, if you didn't know what gratis
meant). This month it was either the Very Sexy Secret
Embrace Push-up (which I already have), the Angels Secret
Embrace Push-up (which I also already have) and the new
Body By Victoria Secret Embrace Full-Coverage (which I DID
NOT have!) and the new Beauty Rush Strawberry Fizz double
mist. Which is a body splash with added moisturizers. It's
too syrupy-sweet smelling for me to want to wear it, but
it makes a fabulous car freshener. Free stuff is always
fun. I never turn anything away!

Snookums called tonight. I knew he would, because I was
kind of sad in my e-mail to him tonight. I can't help it.
I'm feeling a little sad. I don't have a reason to feel
sad, my day wasn't bad at all. I just feel sad. Sad, sad,
sad. Let's see how many times I can get sad into this
paragraph. Seven.

That's it. I'm going to bed. I'm not staying up a minute
later. it's almost midnight and if I go to bed now, I can
actually sneak in 7 or 8 hours of sleep. For once, I need
to get a full night's sleep. So much easier said than
done. Ciao.




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