Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2006-11-29 04:50:40 (UTC)

Gifted Idiot

*****

Have you ever had one of those days that just seemed to go
right? Your hair worked right. Nothing traumatic happened.
No one pissed you off (at least not much). Your car didn't
go careening off highway 3 into a ditch, requiring the
services of two highway patrolmen and a tow truck to get
out (this weather is insane, when will it end)? I came
real close to joining those folks in the ditch, but thanks
to some offensive driving tips I picked up in that course
I told you about, I didn't. I'd have to say I had a pretty
damn good day.

Last night after I wrote, since Snookums was watching
football and I had to wait for hot water (because the
dishwasher was running), I decided to surf the web for
crochet stitches to use for Annie's scarf and hat. I found
one, then I got sidetracked by the weirdest of all things.
IQ tests. A pop-up took me to the Tickle Test site and I
did their little IQ quiz. The result was a respectable
120. I didn't believe it, so I went to the MENSA site
(that exclusive club for geniuses). Well, I'm not one of
them, but their test put me at 125. So, basically...I'M
SMART! I'm not the total retard I thought I was. I'm a
gifted idiot! I'm smart, but lack the basic human instinct
of common sense. Okay, I'm being hard on myself. I've
always known I was smart. The test indicated I'm verbally
gifted, which I also already knew. I've just never really
been told I was smart. I don't feel smart at times. I've
always felt I learned things the hard way. I've got a PhD
in hard knocks. That's what makes me strong enough to
survive what I've lived through. I'm grateful for
my "education".

I've got to get up early tomorrow morning. Instead of
waking up at 8am, I've got to be at Naval Hospital at 8am.
What was I thinking taking such an early appointment? I've
got to go convince my doctor that I'm not feeling crazy
and my meds are working great. In all actuality, I'd love
nothing more than to be rid of them, but the withdrawal is
harsh and I really don't want to feel like death while
being weaned off it. I'm sure when the time comes, my
doctor will know what to do. She'd better. I've already
talked to her about being pregnant on the meds. She said
it's a benefit outweighs the risk scenario and that the
hormones of another pregnancy could tip me over the edge.
I certainly don't want to risk that, but I also don't like
the idea of being on medication while pregnant. Millions
of woman have done it (I looked up fertility threads on
the subject). I just never wanted to be one of them. I'm
not pregnant now, so it isn't an immediate concern, but
it's still in the back of my mind.

I've found crocheting to be very therapeutic. It focuses
my energy, centers my mind and forces me to think amongst
myselves. For the most part, all 5 of us have been getting
along lately. I think the Celexa put them to sleep, unless
I forget to take a dose. They don't cause much trouble and
are able to put their two cents in without causing an
uproar. I appreciate that. God, I sound insane. I think
I'll stop talking about my voices now...

Anyhow, crocheting relaxes me. I took my crocheting to
Starbucks with me today and sat in the big cooshy chair
before and after Gen and Sam came and went and I really
enjoyed it. I was alone, but not alone, if that makes any
sense. I got almost half way done, then realized that
somewhere along the way I missed a stitch and now have a
big hole in the middle of the scarf, so I've got to undo
about 10 rows and redo them. That pissed me off a little,
but it shouldn't take more than 30 minutes to fix. I guess
I'll go do that now. Ciao!




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