Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2006-11-12 07:07:11 (UTC)

Mexican Watermelon

****

I've decided that I no longer want to include the Buddhist
quotes at the beginning of my entry. As much as I
appreciate all that Buddhism has taught me (enlightenment,
peace, tranquility, the art of being silent), I'm still
not sure I'm ready to completely abandon Christianity and
throw myself head first into Eastern philosophy. There's
comfort in the familiar and I know Christianity. Not to
mention I'm having a hard time letting go of the idea of
God. Of the supreme being, higher than the rest of us.
Buddhism has no God and although I thought I liked that,
it feels kind of empty in retrospect. What can I say? I'm
confused. Maybe I'm just not religious. Is it possible to
just be a non-religious person? To believe in something,
but to not know what that something is? Because that's
what I am. Spiritual, but not religious.

I'm feeling strong today, even though I'm being tested.
Kiki doesn't seem to be getting better, she's getting
worse. This morning she woke up looking, sounding and
smelling sickly (puffy eyes with discharge, runny nose,
cough, scratchy throat, mysterious skin eruptions and a
difference in her scent that I can always detect when
she's under the weather). If it sounds yucky, that's
because it is. She's been clingy and emotional all day,
which is to be expected. Then, this evening she developed
a blotchy red rash all over her torso. When will this end?
All I want is for her to get better! To be healthy and to
be happy. Is that so much to ask?!

We didn't go to the mall today. I decided taking her out
in her condition probably wouldn't facilitate healing. So,
we stayed home except for a short trip to Safeway for
milk, medicine and some fruit. I needed something to make
myself happy, so bought a watermelon. I paid twice as much
($13.00 as opposed to $6.00-$7.00)for a melon half the
size of the ones I had this summer, but when I took my
first bite of that sweet, juicy fruit, it was so worth it.
My imported Mexican watermelon tastes sooooo good! That
sweet flavor picked me up a little.

I made soup for dinner. I'm getting good at soup. It's
quick, filling and tastes good, so why not? This time I
cheated. Nothing from scratch. I used frozen stew
vegetables in a bag, frozen pinto and white beans and a
box of German vegetable soup base I bought in the ethnic
section of the Commissary. It only took 20 minutes to
make, but it was great. Very satisfying.

Okay, sorry this is such a boring entry, but I'm tired,
I've had a trying day and I can't muster up enough energy
to make this entry interesting, so I'll just stop writing.
Ciao.




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