Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2006-11-02 15:49:55 (UTC)

Basking In The Glory Of A Startling Revelation

Snookums left about an hour and a half ago and I hate to
say it, but I BASKED in the glory of stretching out in the
middle of the bed! I wasn't particularly sad to see him
go. Actually, I was kind of relieved. Having him home is
nice, but it's more like having a guest than having your
partner home. He's no longer familiar with our routines or
how and when things get done. Sex is pretty much the only
thing he remembers how to do, which isn't all bad, but
there's more to life than sex.

I came to a startling revelation this morning while
Snookums was dragging ass, trying to say goodbye to me
(because he didn't want to leave and was procrastinating).
He kept kissing me, like 5 little pecks in a row, 4 or 5
times. That's roughly 20 kisses in about 10 seconds. Maybe
it's just because I was half-asleep, not interested in
kissing and wasn't going to miss him anyway, but this
really annoyed me. I feel bad about it, because I
understand that he was just trying to show his love for
me. To let me know he's sad to be leaving and will miss
me. I get all that, but I just wasn't feeling it. Lately,
I've been really finicky about the type of physical touch
and affection I want. The startling revelation I came to
this morning was: I like being alone! If Snookums and I
were dating and could see each other when we wanted, but
didn't live together, I'd be okay with that. Actually, I'd
probably be happier. Sad? Yes, I know.

Bottom line is, I intend to do not a damn thing about this
feeling. Snookums military career gives me plenty enough
time alone to be happy. I don't need to run out and get
divorced or anything drastic like that! I love Snookums, I
love being with him. I love having a family with him. I'm
just really glad he leaves sometimes! Call me what you
will. I like my alone time. Ciao.




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