Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2006-09-20 05:05:33 (UTC)

~*~Next Top Angel~*~

*****

"Human beings are social animals who depend for their
survival on others' cooperation and assistance. So it is
better not to have a companion at all than to have one who
is very aggressive and harmful. You can never rely on such
a person but always have to be suspicious and apprehensive
about him or her.

Conversely, if your own character and personality is such
that all people avoid you, that is very sad. Therefore, a
kind heart and compassion are the real sources of peace
and happiness."

I used to be the kind of person people avoided. I prided
myself on being a bitch. I kept people at a distance and I
protected myself in extreme ways. It was a vain attempt at
compensation. I needed to compensate for the complete and
total vulnerability I felt as a child/adolescent/young
adult. In my quest for safety, security and contentment, I
was only bringing myself more pain, suffering and
heartache by chasing everyone away. I'm learning my lesson
and in the process, I'm actually finding TRUE happiness.
If I'm a bitch now, it's because I'm given just cause. And
I still take pride in it.

I really had a great day. Gen didn't feel up to going to
the gym today, which was cool. I just did my thing. I was
very introspective this morning and I actually enjoyed the
time to think inside my head. Gen is very easy to talk to,
but sometimes thoughts and feelings get lost in
verbalization. She's good, but I don't think she's a mind
reader! So, I spent my workout time thinking. Not about
anything or one in particular, but just thinking and
feeling really at peace.

Volunteering in Annie's class wasn't so bad after all. The
hour flew by. I didn't spend much time with Annie, which I
was glad about, because I really wanted to see how she
acted on a regular basis, not because I was there. 15
minutes in she forgot I was there. Ms. Beck had the class
up at the front of the room answering questions on the
whiteboard while I sat in the back with the two children
who are falling behind. Surprisingly, I had more patience
with them than I thought I would. But the one little girl
I was trying to help couldn't get over the tiny diamond I
have in the cartilage of my right ear. Then she was
mesmerized by my wedding set. After that, it was my pumps
(I was dressed for my interview). She was very hard to
keep on task. She actually made me grateful for Annie's
slightly longer attention span.

The Victoria's Secret interview was NOTHING like I thought
it would be. Instead of your usual one-on-one type of
interview, it was a CATTLE CALL. 14 people, all there for
ONE interview. It looked like the cast of a reality show.
13 girls and 1 gay guy, all vying for a spot on the
Victoria's Secret staff. I can see the name now...Next Top
Angel. I was half expecting us to be eliminated in rounds
containing worms or a relay race! But, it was more
along the lines of The Apprentice. We were asked questions
and where told to answer them as best we could. I can
honestly say, I made a good impression, I answered the
questions well and I actually enjoyed the whole
experience! I think I've got a good chance! There's still
more to the application process. I have to take a
character test over the phone and if I pass it, I move on
to the third step, which is the working interview. They
want people that are personable, able to work the crowd
and show confidence. Considering I LOVE Victoria's Secret
and have wanted to be an associate there (in the back of
my mind) for years. I know I'd be good at that. The only
thing is, I have to pass the character test. If you don't
pass that test. You can't be hired and you can't apply
again for a full year. That's crazy, isn't it? I hope my
character is what they're looking for.

After the interview, Gen, Sam and I met up at Starbucks. I
was really craving coffee all day (I wasn't tired, I
wanted the flavor) and I hate going to Starbucks alone.
That's where Gen and I hangout, I can't go there alone!
So, she humored me and came with. It was actually one of
the longest conversations I've had including Sam, probably
ever. I'd love to get all four of us together some time.
Snookums needs intelligent conversation. If he can't keep
up, at least he might learn something.

Zeus (my kitty) started dry heaving a couple of hours ago.
I've been chasing him around the house trying to smear
hairball remedy (basically salmon flavored castor oil) in
his fur (he won't lick it off my finger, so I force him to
take it by getting his beautiful thick coat dirty. He's
anal, so he licks it off just to be clean). Cat's are
suppose to love the taste, but of course, he hates it and
knows what the tube looks like, so as soon as it comes
out, he heads for under my bed. Finally I managed to get
enough down him. Hopefully I don't wake up to a lovely
hairball on the white carpets in one of the bedrooms. The
entire house is either wood floors or tile, yet he heads
for the carpeted bedrooms. I'll never understand him, but
I love him all the same. He just turned 9 on the 12th. So,
he's getting up there in kitty-years.

I'm going to go now. Snookums is going to call soon. He
wants to have phone sex. He's at my dad's place in San
Diego (the ship is in port) and Dad's girlfriend is coming
to visit him from San Antonio. Instead of listening to
them have at it (apparently, Dad's girlfriend is a
screamer), he wants to have a little action of his own.
I'm willing to talk dirty for him. Lord knows I've done
worse! Ciao.




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