Interrupted
My Life Thus Far
Certain Understandings
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"There are three types of wisdom, or three stages in one's
understanding. First is the stage of hearing or learning,
the initial stage when you read or hear about something.
The second stage is when, after learning, you think about
the issue or the topic constantly, and through constant
familiarity and thinking, your understanding becomes
clearer. Then at that time you begin to have certain
feelings or experiences.
This third stage is called "meditatively acquired wisdom."
This is when you not only intellectually understand the
subject matter but also, through meditative experience,
are able to feel it."
I'm somewhere between the first and second stages. I
wouldn't call it wisdom in my case. I think I'm starting
to come to certain understandings. My mind is less clouded
and I can see things for what they really are. I don't
take things nearly as seriously, yet on the other hand,
I'm not as nonchalant, either. It's a delicate balancing
act and I'm learning how to stay balanced without falling
off. Balance is so important.
I had a good enough day. It wasn't fabulous, but it wasn't
bad either. I didn't spend all day hiding in bed, but I
didn't leave the house either. In fact, I didn't even
change out of my pajamas. What for? I wasn't going
anywhere. The closest I came to going outside was opening
the living room blinds so my plants could get some light.
I don't feel sad, in fact I feel fairly happy. I just find
comfort in being home on the weekends. I spend so much
time moving and shaking during the week, that I really
enjoy doing nothing for two whole days.
Annie and I have really bonded over this whole lice thing.
I feel bad for her, simply because there's so much stigma
behind getting and having lice. It's a poor, dirty
person's problem, not a comfortably middle class little
girl, who bathes daily and wears expensive clothes from
designers she can't even pronounce. But, that's me
projecting my societal views on the situation. Annie
thinks it's kind of cool, because all of her friends at
daycare are going through this, too. She doesn't think
she's got lice, but potentially being one of the crowd
appeals to her. I'm so glad I'm past the "fitting in"
phase of growing up. Anyhow, I combed through her hair
again this afternoon, using the special lice comb and I
didn't find a thing. No eggs, no nits, no lice. My job is
done. On the 25th I'll shampoo her hair again, as per the
boxes instructions and that'll be the end of it, until the
next outbreak, at least.
I know I haven't been sharing with you much, as far as my
eating and weight loss have been going, but I'm pleased to
say, all is well. My eating has stabilized dramatically.
My impulse and emotional eating are almost totally
eliminated and the few times I have succombed, it was on
high fiber, high vitamin/mineral content, good for me
food, so it wasn't as detrimental as when I would eat a
whole pizza, or something like that. Today, Annie and I
made banana buckwheat pancakes together. It was fun
involving her in the process and it was something both
good for us, but sweet and tasty, too. We had that for
brunch (it wasn't even brunch, really. More like breakfast
food for lunch). I only had two little pancakes, whereas
before, I'd have eaten a dozen of them, easily. With
sugary syrup and butter. I had sugar-free syrup and half a
nectarine, instead. For dinner I had a sweet potato and
collard greens. I just baked the sweet potato and the
collard greens were southern style, minus the ham hock or
bacon. HEALTHY, HEALTHY, HEALTHY, but also a comfort. I
ate foods like that as a child (I did have a few good
memories from my childhood!)
Okay, enough about my quiet day. The girls are in bed, but
left a wake of colorful (painful to step on) destruction
in their wake (toys, toys, everywhere and not a place to
walk!) I'm going to turn on the radio, set my timer and
give myself one hour of cleaning time. After that, I'm
done and I'll go curl up in bed with one of Snookums
shirts he left me (I love having his scent to cuddle up
with). Ciao until tomorrow!
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