Interrupted
My Life Thus Far
Life Moves Fast
*****
"Perhaps in monasteries in the West there is leisure, but
outside-especially in the cities-life seems to be running
at a rapid pace, like a clock, never stopping for an
instant! So if you look at life in an urban community, it
seems as if every aspect of a person's life has to be so
prcise, designed like a screw that has to fit exactly in
the hole.
In some sense, you have no control over your own life. In
order to survive, you have to follow this pattern and the
pace that is set for you."
Life moves fast. I've felt this way for a long time,
but never had much need to say anything about it. I wish I
could find more time to just sit and stare off into space
without someone asking me "Are you okay?" or "Is something
wrong?" Why does something always have to be wrong?
I've felt very fatigued all day. Whenever I get up from
sitting, my vision goes all white and my head spins. What
the hell is up with that? I went to the gym, did my usual
workout, but it lacked a certain gusto I almost always
have. Even if I'm not feeling like I want to workout, I
usually get over that feeling by the time I start. Today,
I really did want to work out. I just couldn't seem to
muster up the energy. I woke up tired, stayed tired
throughout the morning, into the afternoon (even after a
nap on the couch), and I'm tired now. So, I'm going to bed
early tonight and hopefully tomorrow I'll feel more lively!
Other than the minor inconvenience of fatigue, I had a
really great day, so I can't complain.
I called Madigan to make my appointment for the genetic
counseling, but they are booked out clear through the end
of the year. Bremerton Naval Hospital (the hospital I
usually go to) sent a referral to TriWest (the military's
HMO on the West coast, it isn't really an HMO, but I'm not
sure how else to explain it). TriWest is going to find a
civilian facility that does the testing, so I'll probably
have it done in Tacoma or Seattle. Fred Hutchinson is
world renouned for their advances in cancer research and
therapy, so I wouldn't mind going there. It's expensive,
but the Navy is paying for it. If I'm at all at risk of
getting breast cancer, I want to know now so I can do what
I must to prevent it. All I want is to see my little girls
grow up. Is that so much to ask?
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