Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2006-08-24 02:31:41 (UTC)

Atomic Temper Tantrum

****

"It is possible to indicate one's particular spiritual way
of life through external means, such as wearing certain
clothes, having a shrine or altar in one's house, doing
recitations and chanting. However, these practices are
secondary to one's religious or spiritual way of ife
because all of these activities can be performed by a
person who harbors a very negative state of mind.

On the other hand, all the virtues of mind, the mental
qualities, are genuine spiritual qualities because all of
these internal mental qualities cannot exist in a single
moment simultaneously with ill feelings or negative states
of mind."

Today was a great day. I can't lie and say I feel as good
as I did yesterday (I've got a headache and I'm feeling
quite fatigued), but mentally, spiritually, emotionally,
I'm in a good place. I seemed to have several challenges
thrown my way today, but I handled them all without
letting my emotions take control and without letting the
voices that live inside of my head get the better of me.

Let's see:
*I got our cellphone bill, which is normally $60. This
time, it's $125.80, because while Snookums was up in
Canada a couple of weeks ago, he was roaming and racked up
73 minutes of roaming charges. Ain't that a bitch? Oh,
well. Such is life.

*I called to make my doctor's appointment (to make sure my
uterus went back down and everything looks normal and to
have a pap smear done). Well, my regular doctor is booked
clear through September. I want to get Mirena (the latest
IUD), but I have to have this done first. So, she told me
to schedule with whichever doctor was available, because
she really wanted me to be seen soon. So, I called and
ended up getting placed with a male doctor I've never met
before. I don't like men in public settings, I sure as
hell don't want one between my legs (unless I invite him)!
But, doctors are supposed to be professional, this is what
I told myself. I'll see if Snookums can come with me, if
not, I'll see if Gen can come with me and if that doesn't
work, then I'll ask for a female stand-by. You can do
that.

*I called Siskiyou County's DMV to see if I could register
for their traffic safety school, so I can keep the ticket
I got in California off my driving record. Well, according
to them, it doesn't work that way for non-residents. I can
pay for the class, take it, pass it with flying colors,
but they WON'T guarantee that it won't still show up on my
record. What the hell is that? How can they take someone's
money, make them go through a dumb ass class, then still
turn around and give them the infraction anyway? So, I let
it go for now. I was getting really upset about it. I've
decided to drop the subject for the moment and revisit it
when I'm not so angry about the injustice.

*The girls came home cranky. Not just mildly cranky, but
atomic temper tantrum, kicking/screaming, throwing food,
not caring about punishment cranky. Whoever says that
being a mother is easy is either on crack, not paying any
attention to their children-at all, or has a damn good
nanny. Since I fall under none of those catagories, I can
say, being a mother is hard. I'm too crazy, selfish and
self-centered to care this much about anyone other than
myself (not that I care all that much for myself, either).
Maternal attachment does strange things to your
priorities. Anyway, I managed to get them through dinner
without killing themselves or one another and they are now
safely tucked away in bed. Thank goodness.

I'm beat. I have been all day. I had to drag myself
through my workout, because even though I was motivated,
wanted to be there and was ready to work out, my body had
other ideas. My muscles fatigued way faster than they
normally do and it took me 30 minutes longer than usual to
finish my cardio, but I DID, which is what really matters.
Weight training wasn't much better. My arms feel like
noodles and my thighs were cramping. I'm pretty sure I'm
getting enough water and I slept okay last night. Maybe
I'm working myself too hard. I'm good at doing that. We'll
see how I feel tomorrow. The weekend isn't that far off
and I'll have two days of rest.

That's all the ruminating I've got for today. I think I'll
take a bowl of watermelon to bed and just relax. It's too
early to go to sleep, but I'm sure there's something good
on tv tonight...Ciao.




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