Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2006-08-17 03:22:57 (UTC)

I'm Such A Chicken

*****

"In the cycle of rebirths, which we call samsara, from
time to time there occurs the phenomenon of reincarnation.
First of all, let us make a distinction. The cycle of
rebirths-samsara-is the very condition of all life. No
existence escapes it, unless it gets to nirvana. This
condition is painful, because it obliges us to live and
live again, on levels that can be worse than those we have
known. If rebirth is an obligation, reincarnation is a
choice. It is the power gratned to certain worthy
individuals to control their future birth."

I had a great day, really. I did. I slept in this morning.
All the way until 8am. Not something I normally do, but it
felt good. I'm usually at the gym by 8, working out with
Gen, but she can't come on Wednesdays, because of her work
schedule. So, I went later. I love my workouts and have
been doing them with much joy the past couple of weeks.
Physical exursion is about as close as I can get to
meditation right now. I close my eyes, and drift away. By
the time I "come to" I've walked 4 miles or have burned
600 calories. It's a wonderful feeling. Dad gave me a book
on meditation and I've read through most of it. I'm just
scared to try for failing. I'm such a chicken.

I got a letter from the Department of Corrections today.
My step-father is getting out of jail tomorrow. He'll be
living in Seattle. Far from me and Annie, but not far
enough. I'm not scared for my safety. I don't think he
means me any harm, but I worry about whether or not he'll
try to get visitation with Annie. I WILL NOT let that
happen.

I have to go now. Snookums gave me 30 minutes on the
computer tonight and then a 5 minute extension so I could
finish this entry. I'd better not be late. He's trying to
recreate our first date. Dinner at Olive Garden and clumsy
sex afterwards. Some things don't change even over time.
Ciao.




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