Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2006-08-15 03:07:44 (UTC)

Men Can Be So Insensitive

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"I am absolutely opposed to the death penalty. My
predecessor abolished it in Tibet. Today I find it
unbelievable that it persists in large countries like
China and India. They still kill people in the name of
justice in the country of Mahatma Gandhi! In the very land
where the Buddha taught!

The death penalty is pure vioence, a barbaric and useless
violence. Dangerous even, because it can only lead to
others acts of violence-as all violence does. The supreme
punishment ought to be a life sentence, and one without
brutality."

Let me just remind you that these are quotes from the
Dalai Lama, not my own personal opinions. My mental jury
is still out on the death penalty. But, I think I'm
leaning towards "against". Whenever I hear of a criminal
being put to death, I inevitably always think about the
families involved and less about the one actually being
put to death. That's where the conflict comes in. If
someone where to kill a family member of mine, I'm not
sure if I'd want them dead, or if I'd care enough about
the criminal's family that I'd want him spared. I hope I'm
never put in a situation where I have to think this
through deeper.

Never did I think I'd be saying this with my own husband
in mind, but here I am uttering it; Men can be so
insensitive. Last night when Snookums got home, he wanted
sex. I was fully expecting this. Even though he hadn't
been gone long, I wasn't up to it before he left and I
knew I'd have to give it up when he got home. So, I was
willing. Almost as soon as we started I wanted to stop. It
hurt. I was doing my best not to let it show, because I
didn't want Snookums to know he was hurting me, but it was
quite painful and almost makes me not want to do it again
(any time soon). Afterwards, Snookums asked me if I was
okay. I told him I was a little sore and it hurt a bit,
but I was okay. You'll never believe what he said to
me..."I could tell, but I really had to get my nut on".
For those of you who don't speak ghetto, that would mean
his need to reach orgasm overshadowed the fact that his
penis banging against my still tender cervix was causing
me noticable discomfort. I was a little hurt, but I didn't
say anything. Later on, he apologized for it, but the
damage was done.

Snookums is just now starting to feel the full effects of
the miscarriage. Now that I'm starting to get over it, of
course. When I got home from the gym, he surprised me by
cleaning the bedroom, making the bed and buying me warm
apple pie scented candles and two dozen red, pink, white
and yellow roses. They're very beautiful and were
accompanied by a very sweet card in which Snookums wrote
things he hadn't said to me before about how he's feeling
about the loss of the baby. He's always had a hard time
expressing his emotions verbally, so it was nice knowing
that he did care and it did hurt him almost as much as it
hurt me. Only, I got the physical pain as well. He took me
to Anthony's for lunch, which was nice. We watched the
ferry go by and all the pretty boats floating across the
sound. It was very nice. After lunch we bought ice cream
at Cold Stone and sat on a bench in the plaza watching the
fountain and listening to music (which I still don't know
where it was coming from). One of my favorite songs came
on, too. LeAnn Womack's "I hope you dance". It always
reminds me of the girls'. Snookums danced with me. In the
middle of the plaza, in the sun, on the waterfront. I
forgave him and was reminded of why I love him so much.
After that, we snapped back to reality, went grocery
shopping, picked the girls up and came home. Overall, it
was a good day. Ciao.




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