Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2006-06-27 06:44:57 (UTC)

Sullen Girl

I can't beat this sadness. It's sticking with me no matter
how delightful a day I may have. I can't get out of my own
head long enough to see the good there is in the world.
And that's sad, because I'm sure there is good in the
world. Otherwise the suicide rate would be higher than it
already is. I guess I'm just a sullen girl, what can I say?

I started out my day feeling really high. I had a great
workout at the gym, I was feeling really great, but it
didn't last long and just as illusively as it came, the
happiness went. Like a balloon losing it's helium. I
struggled to enjoy the rest of the day, even though it was
a good day.

Gen and I spent it together. I find her company very
pleasant. She takes me for what I am, doesn't expect much
from me and doesn't ask much of me in return. This is
good, seeing as how I don't have much to give. We had
breakfast at The Diner in Poulsbo, walked around the
waterfront, then went to see The Lake House (it was good,
but a little enigmatic). Afterwards, we went shopping. I
bought a bunch of new tank tops and a couple of skirts.
I'm seriously lacking in the summer wardrobe department,
since I'm only 80 pounds lighter than I was this time last
summer.

Gen and I came back to the house and had a long
conversation. It was nice having someone to talk to (other
than my therapist). I realize no one can fully understand
what I'm going through unless they themselves have or are
going through it, but Gen is about as close as I think I'm
going to get. Empathy is a specialty of her's. Even if she
isn't aware of it.

I'm tired. I'm going to attempt sleep and hope I'm
successful. Sleep is so illusive. Ciao.




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