Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2006-06-14 06:12:00 (UTC)

Physical Diversion

Before I delve into my usual diatribe, I just want to
thank everyone who's sent me such supportive feedback and
thank them for not judging me or belittling my feelings,
because what I'm feeling is real. I'm not being
melodramatic or fishing for attention. I have a real
physical problem and I'm going to try to get it fixed. So,
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for you're understanding
and kind words. It really helps me feel like maybe I am
worth something, after all.

Physical diversion was the order of the day. After
dropping off the girls, I headed to the gym and did my
usual workout, plus the Nautilus circuit training
machines, too. Which I've been doing for the past month or
so. But, of course now I've got more time to devote to my
physical endeavours, so I should be seeing more pronounced
results soon.

After the gym, I thought it would be a good idea to maybe
get in touch with nature again. Since I started working, I
somehow lost touch with nature. I stopped noticing the sky
and the trees. The breeze didn't mean anything, the smell
of the air was inconsequential. Today, I reconnected. NAD
(Naval Ammunitions Depot) Park is right along my daily
route to and from the girls' school and daycare, but I'd
never been there. A few days ago, as I drove past, I
noticed there were trails going into the woods and since I
love trails and have been wondering where I could go to
find some around here, I decided to stop by when I had the
chance. Well, today was the day. The trails aren't long,
but there's a lot of them and they meander through the
woods in intricate patterns that lend them well to being
traversed repeatedly without repeating the same journey
too many times. I walked for two hours and just took in
the sights and smells. The woods were damp and fragrant.
The tree's were dropping leaves and needles and the air
was just so clean. I took a picture of a big slug (it's on
the website), because you just don't see mollusks like
that on the street. I probably wouldn't have appreciated
it as much, even if I had.

I did have a bit of a strange experience on my way out of
the park. I was sitting in the car, with the windows down,
trying to plot out the rest of my afternoon. I still had 2
hours before Annie was to get out of school, so I was
thinking. I noticed a figure pass in front of the car and
when I looked up, it spoke. Well, he spoke. An older man,
maybe in his late to mid 50's. I'd seen him on the trails,
we crossed paths and said "hello", but I hadn't given him
much though. I was in my own place. As he stood at my
window, he asked "Will you come here again tomorrow?". I
said "I don't know", because I was surprised to be asked
such a question by a total stranger. His response
was, "Well, if you do, I'll be here until noon. I'd love
to follow you through the woods again." Then he walked
away. Isn't that strange? I don't know what to make of
that.

I decided that retail therapy would be the best use of
those last couple hours before school let out. So, I hit
Target and just strolled. I ended up buying some olive oil
body scrub and milk spray (lotion), deodorant, a strapless
convertible bra, a halter top, workout pants and a couple
sport bras. Nothing major. It took me about an hour of
trying on to find the right bras, so when I was done, it
was time to retrieve the babies.

After they were fed, played with and put to bed, I sat on
the back patio and watched the sun go down. It was nice. I
love the smell of the breeze coming off the salty water of
the sound. It's one of the things I love about living
here. I live where the water meets the woods. My two
favorite things.

I'm suppose to be working on an assignment my therapist
gave me, but I don't want to do it. Did I tell you about
it? She gave me an empty notebook and a glue stick. I'm
suppose to cut pictures out of magazines and describe with
them what I want for my life. It's easier said than done.
I've been thinking about it since last Thursday and I
still haven't been able to decide how I want to approach
the assignment. So, I just won't approach it at all
tonight.

I'm actually feeling sleepy, so I guess I'll go to bed
now. That seems like the logical thing to do. Ciao.





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