Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2006-05-30 20:10:26 (UTC)

Inaudible Catharsis

I'm feeling very much in control right now, which is a
feeling I enjoy very much. I'm still sad that Snookie is
gone, but I'll get over it (NEVER!) and I'll be able to
live the life I've created for myself when he's gone (NOT
HAPPILY, THOUGH!) The Navy Lifestyle is hardly a lifestyle
at all. I don't know why they even call it that. The
Community Center on base is offering a class for newly
married wives (they say spouses, but they mean wives) to
help them adjust to the "lifestyle" and to inform them of
the support system that's there for them. Like, the
Ombudsman, whom I've never spoken to (she's some Officer's
wife, that's suppose to call all the wives of the sailors
on the ship and be their support system. Someone to bitch
to when the Navy does you wrong). I think it's almost
comical that there's even a class for that. Do newly
married lawyer's wives have a class offered to them, too?
Probably not.

There most definitely is some sort of frequency emitted by
the ship. Why else would I spontaneously awaken, drag
myself out of bed at 5:13am (when I didn't have to),
navigate down the hall, around the corner, through the
living room and out onto the back patio in plenty enough
time to watch the Stennis pull out of port and slowly be
guided out the inlet by tugs? Why would I want to see
that? If something in me wasn't drawn to the inaudible
sound it makes, I would have gladly slept through the
whole sad processional. But, none the less, seeing the
ship leave (and sometimes come home) from our backyard is
kind of like a carthsis. I feel closer to him, yet
relieved from missing him in some way. Kind of like I saw
him off, now I can move on. It's hard to explain.

I had a great morning at the gym. I did my usual cardio,
but I've recently started incorporating the Nautilus
circuit training equipment into my routine. I can feel the
difference. This morning when I got on the scale, I was
slightly disappointed to see that the numbers had gone up,
but I was surprised by the number that had gone down...My
body fat percentage! Even though I was a teensy bit
heavier, the extra weight was from lean muscle, not fat.
The extra food I've been eating and the strength training
I've incorporated into my workout equated into lean muscle
mass. Sweet! Muscle burns more calories than fat. Now, I
just have to get back into the losing mode, because there
is still fat to be lost. I can have muscle and still be
skinny. It's totally possible.

After the gym, I went to Wal-mart, hell bend on buying
myself one of those space-saver treadmills that fold so
flat you can tuck them in a closet or under a bed. Well,
they didn't have any. The smallest one they had was a
little cheap thing with a flimsy ply-wood running board.
So, I resigned myself to the fact that unless we move to a
bigger house in the near future, I just don't have room
for a treadmill. So, instead I bought bubble bath, socks,
panties (Not Victoria Secret, what's happening to me? Am I
no longer a brand whore?), hair ties and a new pedometer
(I somehow broke my other one). I felt a little better
after that. There's nothing worse than not getting what
you came for, but oh well.

Right now it's only 1pm. I'm going to have lunch, tidy up
the house a little, go for a walk, then pick the girls up.
I might write again later, I might not. We shall see. Ciao.




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