Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2006-05-29 18:22:40 (UTC)

Sex Is Minor

Sue left about an hour ago. I'm glad. I was getting tired
of being the happy hostess and playing cheerful was
getting to be more and more difficult. I'm not good at
putting on a happy face. What can I say? I'm authentic.

Snookums has to be on the ship by 6:30pm tonight. I have
to drop him off, because he isn't going to be able to park
the truck on base, since they're going to be gone so long.
This is going to make it all the more difficult on me. The
first few days after he leaves I feel so abandoned. Alone,
with no one to turn to. I feel too young to be so
unattended. I know that's bullshit, but I can't change how
I feel.

I suppose the only thing I can do is make the most out of
the hours we have left together. We tried having sex this
morning, but it felt too ceremonial. Like, we were doing
it because it was our last chance and we were suppose to.
So, we just stopped. It wasn't in the least bit good. In
fact, it was disappointing and sad. Sex isn't the thing I
miss most when Snookums leaves, it's just him. I miss his
touch, his smell. Seeing him at the end of the day.
Watching tv. Taking care of the children together. The
everyday things. Sex is minor. Of minimal importance,
really. I just want my friend :(

Snookie went to get lunch. It's something bad for me, I'm
sure, but I'll worry about my food intake over the next
couple of months. It'll give me something else to dwell
and over-concentrate on. As if two kids and a job isn't
enough distraction. Ciao.




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