Interrupted
My Life Thus Far
Am I Bipolar, Or Just Insane?
I'm out of bed... It's after 1pm, but at least I'm out. I
can already tell today isn't going to amount to much,
since I couldn't even muster up enough enthusiasm to go
shopping or take the girls' to the park (which I'll force
myself to do later, because it's my parental
responsibility). I just feel like shit. I've already
fucked up my calorie intake with animal crackers and Ritz.
So, there's no hope for me. I'm going to be fat and
unhappy for the forseeable future...This sucks ass.
Why am I so sad? Why am I unable to discipline myself? Why
can't I keep my thoughts, emotions, impulses, urges, whims
and frivilous needs in check? Why do I go from super
happy, on top of the world, no need for food or sleep, to
down in the gutter, bottom of the barrel, ready to cocoon
myself into my bed and sleep for 14 hours, want to eat
everything in sight, need to have a million good cries
sad? I'll never understand myself. Why am I so extreme? Am
I bipolar, or just insane? Bipolar disorder has an
unpleasant connotation I'd rather like to avoid
association with. No offense to anyone reading this that
may be bipolar. I would just rather not add another mental
condition to my trophy case.
My goals today are to get the laundry done. Straighten up
the house. Take the girls' to the park and to NOT eat
anything else that might cause me to gain weight. If I
can't lose it, lets attempt to not gain any back. I'm such
a fuck-up...Ciao
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