Interrupted
My Life Thus Far
It Never Gets Any Easier
I'm sad. There's just no other way to put it. Snookums
left today and no matter how many times he leaves (I've
lost count, now) it never gets any easier. This morning,
he was still in bed when I left at 6:45am, but we kissed,
hugged, said our goodbye's and made peace with the fact
that we're being separated against our will.
I managed to drop Kiki off, I dropped Annie off and as
soon as I got about a block away from Annie's daycare, I
burst into tears. Which isn't such a great idea while
driving, but I just couldn't help it. It hit me like a ton
of bricks, completely out of nowhere. I haven't cried
since, but I came close while I was cleaning up about an
hour ago. I was gathering up all the trash in the house to
take it out and Snookums had left the wrapper of his cold
medicine on his nightstand and just the act of removing
his garbage made me well up a bit. I felt silly, though,
so I stifled the urge. Must I go through this ever time he
leaves?!
Thankfully, I had an exceptionally good day at work. 9
straight hours of NOT dwelling on the fact that my husband
is gone. NOT sitting around waiting for the day to pass.
NOT looking for things to take my mind off my sadness. It
was there, but I didn't dwell. I was too busy.
It really was a very eventful day at work. Well, to us
dental assistants it was. The morning flew by like
clockwork. I got to do a full-mouth set of x-rays and a
new patient exam all by myself this morning. At lunch time
we had a chiropractor come see us and give us some
exercises to help combat back fatigue (which is common
among dental assistants, because of the chair we sit in).
The doctors bought everyone lunch from a little Bistro
down the street. I just had a little chef salad, no
dressing (215 cals. Yeah, I'm counting again). After lunch
we got our new STATIM (steam autoclave, the machine that
sterilizes our instruments) and I got to decide how it was
situated in sterilization, since I'm the one that uses it
the most. So, I'm finally starting to feel like one of the
team and I have a say in how things go. It feels nice.
On my way out of work, at 4:30pm, my cellphone wrang. I
didn't even need to look to see that it was Snookums, I
just knew. It was nice hearing his voice again, one last
time before "radio silence" (he can't call while he's
underway, only while in port). So, I got a little closure
and I can transition into single-mode and survive the
loneliness.
I'm sleepy. I got all of my nightly duties accomplished
already, so I'm going to shower, maybe do some
crunches...or not, and then go to bed. I'm feeling a
little hungry, which means my metabolism is working :) I'm
at 750 cals right now, but I'm suppose to reach 1040
today. So, after I get out of the shower I'm going to have
some yogurt with strawberries and granola for a snack. I'm
going to give this diet an honest try for the first week.
If I'm not down at least 2 pounds, I quit! I'll go back to
what works. But, I'll give it the benefit of the doubt
first. Ciao, for now.
Ad: