Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2006-03-21 19:37:50 (UTC)

Enigmatic Melancholia

As happy as I was this morning at being 148 pounds, my
mood has taken a steady descent over the duration of the
morning, and now I'm lucky to still be sitting upright in
this chair. My desire is to pull the shades, crawl into
bed and weep. Why? I couldn't tell you. I have every
reason to be happy. My weight loss is going great, my
husband comes home tomorrow, I've got the job I was
wanting (well, not technically. I'm still waiting for a
start date, but I WILL have the job) I'm in a comfortable
position in life, my family loves me. My life would seem
to be falling into place. I'm just so tired and unhappy. I
want to sleep. Why is it that even when I get what I want,
I'm not happy? Some people just never are, I guess.

To combat the sleepiness, I brewed up a pot of coffee. Ten
cups of carmel truffle Millstone. I'm not sure why a made
a whole pot. I'm by myself. I'll be lucky to finish a
whole cup let alone ten. Talk about overkill. The smell
alone, though is enough to perk me up a little. I usually
avoid caffeine, but I think caffeine is better than a
Vicodin cocktail, so I'll pick the lesser of the two
evils.

As I mentioned before, Snookums comes home tomorrow. I
didn't get to chronicle the evolution of our bedroom
makeover, because my-diary was down, but I mangaged to do
a "While You Were Out"-ish type makeover on our bedroom. I
painted all our mismatched bedroom furniture satin black
with antiqued guild trim. It looks so sophisticated. I
approached the project with the attitude that it would be
easy. Like giving the furniture a pedicure or something.
Boy, was I wrong. But, I'm glad I did it, because it looks
so much more grown up. I embraced Snookums' big cat theme
and I ran with it. But, it's done tastefully. However, I
digress. Today I bought flowers to make a new arrangement
on my nightstand. I want everything to look special when
Snookums gets home, so I bought a dozen orange roses and a
dozen white dalias, plus filler (the green stuff: leaves,
ferns, pussy willows, etc.) I enjoy making my own
arrangement each week. It gives me something to look
forward to and I can personalize it with the flowers I
like most. Roses. I took an arrangement to work with me
yesterday, for the front office staff (I had it made at
Flowers To Go) and while I was waiting for them to finish,
I found this room spray called White On White. I'm not
sure what that means, but it smells so sensual. I swear,
the first thing I thought of when I smelled it was sex.
So, of course for $9.99 I had to get it. My room smells so
intoxicating. Between the roses and the room spray, I know
I'm in trouble tomorrow night, if we make it that long :)

Well, I'd better go get started on that arrangement. It
isn't in water right now and I don't want the flowers to
get thirsty. I'll probably write again tonight. Maybe.
Ciao.

P.S. I feel better! Maybe a cup of coffee and a long diary
entry were all I needed to perk up my spirits!





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