Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2006-02-04 08:00:03 (UTC)

Bewilderment and Confusion

I know I've already written my customary nightly entry,
but in my current state of bewilderment and confusion, I
feel the need to write again. It's 11:35pm and I've got no
one to talk to. No one to call. No one to care what I'm
thinking about or pining over. So, hence I consult my
trusty diary. At least here I can address the topics that
are molesting my mind to the point of mentalism.

The internet is so full of conflicting information that I
can hardly make heads or tails of half the things I read.
Tonight, frustrated beyond belief at my inability to lose
weight beyond 160 pounds, I consulted about 30 different
websites conserning the topic of weight plateaus. I swear
to you, every site said something different from the last.
I couldn't find any corroboration on any one theory,
because they were all different. Some suggested I eat
more, some said less. Some said exercise more, some said
less. Some said go on a liquid diet, some said eat
normally. One even suggested a doctor supervised fast to
break the stalemate. That just sounds like it's got bad
idea written all over it. What do I believe? What do I do?
I settled on a site that said what I wanted to
hear. "Stick with what you are doing and eventually
you'll get past it". Basically, in a nutshell. I'm still
going to eat more and exercise less, but I've still got a
calorie deficient neccessary to facilitate weight loss.
When I'm ready to get back on to my strict diet of 1000
calories, I will have at least lost a teeny bit of weight
or not gained any back. I'm having a hard time staying
motivated because of the lack of downward-pointed numbers
on the scale. I know the scale isn't the end-all-be-all of
success, but it's the only barometer I've got and it's
turned against me. I'll get past it. Everyone's got their
low moments and this is one of mine.

I've also got issues with the daily calorie requirement
and BMI calculators floating around the web. Each one
gives a different number, even though I plug in the same
information. I've gotten as low as 1500 calories
needed/day to 2200 needed/day. That can't be right.

I got a 2 line e-mail from Snookums. It was a very
utilitarian e-mail. Annie lost her library books this
week. I sent him an e-mail asking if he knew where they
were and he sent one back telling me to check under her
bed. No other info, but that. I was a little disappointed
considering I was so looking forward to hearing from him,
only to get a 1 liner. I know he's busy and I should get
over it, but it was a bit of a downer none the less.

I need to go to bed now. My eyelids are getting heavy :)
Thanks for letting me ramble. I feel better and I know
I'll sleep better. Ciao.




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