Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2006-01-01 18:48:43 (UTC)

I Have No New Year's Resolution

It's been awhile since I've written. I know it's only been
a couple of days, but considering I usually write
everyday, sometimes twice a day, skipping two days is a
bit of a breakthrough for me. I've cut the umbilical cord.
I no longer need my diary as a reason to get out of bed.
Writing in my diary is no longer an accomplishment, it's
how I chronicle my life. LIFE! YES! I have a life. It may
not be glamorous, it may not be exciting or interesting to
anyone else, but it is a life and it's mine. So, I'm
grateful for it.

Nothing much happened the couple days I didn't write. Gen
came over to visit on Friday, then yesterday we had a
girls day out. We went out to lunch and we shopped. I've
been doing so much shopping lately that I really tried not
to shop to excess. I still spent about $50 at Victoria's
Secret, which was a MUST. They were having this promotion:
Get a corset tote (that was filled with different
products) a $110 value for $20 with any purchase. I saw
this really cute sweater/robe thing that I had to have, so
I bought it in order to get the cute tote. We stopped at
Old Navy (I got a sweater and some socks) and Bath and
Body Works (I got cherry blossom lotion, shower gel and
spray). We walked on the wild side and got piercings!
Well, not really wild. Gen got a third hole and I got a
cartilage piercing. It was still fun. I did buy Snookums a
peace offering for my shopping transgressions. A mini
leatherman key chain. Gen has one and he thought it was
really cool, so I got him one. He really liked it, but I
didn't need to bribe him. He wasn't mad at me at all. He
was pleased to see me demonstrate a little self-restraint
and not spend another $1,300 on panties and makeup. I have
such a great husband.

Our New Year's celebration was tame. We went to the
Chinese buffet for dinner (even though that's were Gen and
I went for lunch, Snookie was jealous, since that is his
favorite place). We stopped off at Safeway and got some
dessert (that wasn't weight watchers, fat-free, sugar-free
or good for you in any way) and came home. Annie didn't
make it past 9:30, Kiki went down at 10pm and Snookie and
I just cuddled on the couch until midnight. Then, we
downed an entire bottle of champagne and called it a
night. Snookie is a little hung over, considering he had
about 6 glasses. I only had 2. I've come to accept that no
matter how much I may desire to drink, I really just don't
like doing it all the time or in excess.

I have no New Year's resolution. I decided years ago that
they just aren't worth the time or effort. Every year I
tried to make a resolution I found that within a week, I
was breaking it or it was forgotten about. I've been
implementing the necessary change in my life since August
of last year. There isn't anything I need to resolve. I'm
already over 50 pounds into my weight loss, I've gotten
rid of the clutter in my life, I'm more positive and
assertive. I take good care of my body and my family.
What's left? Maybe I could have a more positive body-
image, but with my body changing on a weekly basis, I'm
thinking I'll put that off until I get to my desired
weight. Then it shouldn't be a problem being positive
about my body.

I'm considering doing away with the accountability
journal. I've been using it for a month, I've lost 10
pounds using it. But the constant effort of counting
calories isn't going to be easy when I have something else
occupying my time (i.e.: work) and mental energies. I'm
having separation anxiety about it, though. I love the
control of knowing (within approximation) just how many
calories I'm putting in my body. I did manage to lose 40
pounds without it, but even then I still had this running
total in my head throughout the day. Yesterday was a free
day. I didn't log my calories, because I knew that eating
at the Chinese buffet twice in one day wasn't something I
wanted to document, but today I'm back on track. I give
myself one day a week to eat as I please, it keeps me from
feeling deprived. Maybe I'll stick with the journal, just
in a smaller form. Maybe a little pocket notebook or
something?

I'm going to go for now. My tummy is turning itself inside
out, I'm so hungry. Ciao.




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