Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2005-12-07 04:06:54 (UTC)

A Heart-Shaped Nether Region

I'm so bored I don't know what to do with myself. I just
don't feel like doing anything, but what I absolutely have
to. I bought all of the makings of a lovely spa evening,
but I can't even get myself to muster up enough interest
to run the bath water. I just want to curl up in bed and
watch tv. In my mind all I hear is "what's the point? He's
not here to appreciate any of it". What is the point? Why
should I shave my legs when by the time I see him on
Friday they'll just be stubbly again? Why paint my
fingernails? They'll only chip the first time I attempt to
do one of my many chores. Why bother taking the time and
energy to pamper myself? I did do the Brazilian wax today.
I didn't have the feminine fortitude to endure the self-
inflicted pain of a full Brazilian, so I'm sporting a
heart-shaped nether region. I'm sure Snookums will like
that. I really need to find a salon around here that will
do it for me. The pain wouldn't be so bad if someone else
(other than myself) was doing it.

I somehow did end up back at Wal-mart again today. I
bought Kiki some baby powder and myself some more of those
comfy bras I got yesterday (and their matching thongs) and
I got some bikini creme to finish the heart crotch without
any more self-induced torture. The results will only last
days instead of weeks, but anything is better than shaving
everyday.

I get to see Snookums tomorrow! His Commanding Officer is
letting him off the ship to get his ID and we're going to
meet at PSD to get our cards together. It's really just
going to be a tease to get to see him for only an hour at
most (and in public). Then he's got to go back to the
ship. I guess I should be grateful, but I'm not. I don't
think he should have to go unless his ship is needed in a
war zone and it's not, so he should be home. Why can't
they practice their war games here in home port, then go
home at night? Why does it have to be in the middle of the
ocean? I'm having a hard time grasping that he's going to
be gone next week, if you hadn't noticed.

Both Snookie and Gen (and my abysmal spill off the weight-
loss wagon this past week) have convinced me that my goal
of 120 pounds is far too lofty. I don't want to say I'll
never reach that size, but at this point it isn't looking
likely. I haven't been 120 since I was 15 years old. I've
had 2 children and I'm not a teenager anymore. I'm not a
supermodel either. I'm not meant to be that small. Instead
I'm going to shoot for 140. Just as soon as I stop
shoveling carbs down my throat. I haven't completely
fallen off the wagon, but I have been over eating in
search of comfort. I had left-over pizza for breakfast
this morning...Enough said. I haven't been able to face my
scale the past 2 mornings. I'll try starting fresh on
Monday. The rest of this week I'll try to be good so the
number on the scale Monday morning doesn't make me cry.

Well, I'm going to go clean the kitchen (since Snookums
isn't here to do it and we're all out of forks). Then I'll
convince myself that showering is still a good idea, even
if Snookums isn't here to smell me (the general public
still cares about my personal hygiene, I'm sure). Ciao for
now.




Ad: