Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2005-12-02 09:49:48 (UTC)

An Agonizing Experience

It's late, almost 1:30am, but considering my uterus is
being ripped out via my spine, I'm hardly in the mood for
sleep. I don't undertand why menstration has to be such an
agonizing experience. When I was a teenager, I didn't know
when my period was coming. I didn't get advanced warning
in the form of PMS or physical symptoms. It just came, it
went peacefully, no problem, no big deal. After Annie, I
got a little crampy, mild discomfort, a teeny bit moody.
Still, no big deal. After Kiki, ah hell no! My body fell
apart. Now I run the gamut of physical and emotional
premenstral ailments. I'm super bitch with big swollen
boobs, a 4 month pregnant-looking bloated stomach, cramps
like labor pains, and emotions that rise and fall like a
roller coaster at Six Flags. Tonight I laughed AND cried
at the same time, because Snookums had to reheat his
dinner. What the hell? I'm just in so much pain it isn't
natural. The Midol was like a band-aid on a bullet wound
and the heat patch feels great, but can hardly handle the
cramps. I'd need to hold a white hot frying pan to my
abdomen just to penetrate to the depth of the pain. Since
a hysterectomy is out of the question, I'll just have to
deal, I guess.

I did the Tae Bo DVD this afternoon and it was a GREAT
workout. I was pumped, I was doing great. Then I got
towards the end of the workout and the routine got
trickier. I just couldn't get this 3-part step right. I
kept stepping with the wrong foot or jabbing with the
wrong hand. I somehow got it in my head that I couldn't
move on until I got the steps down perfectly (like I was
rehearsing for the nutcracker or something). 45 minutes
and about 15 attempts later PMS took over and I started to
cry. My mind and body refused to work together and I just
had to give up. Not because I was tired, but because I
emotionally just couldn't take NOT getting those 3 counts
of 8 down perfect. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8 repeat. I tried so
hard, yet it illuded me. I'll try again tomorrow. Have you
ever CRIED because you couldn't do a single step in a
workout? Probably not. I'm nuts. It's official.

Snookums is being so nice to me in my time of need, but
I'm suspecting that he finds my situation somewhat
comical. I'm not imagining this, becuase while he's
comforting me through a crying jag, he's also laughing his
ass off. What the hell is so amusing? I'll ask him in the
morning. Right now, I'm taking my crampy ass to bed. I
still have to function normally later today, even if I'm
not normal. Ciao.




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