Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2005-11-02 15:22:11 (UTC)

177, Laxatives and Bulimics

Last night, I suffered through the most excruciating, gut-
wrenching, piercing intestinal cramping that I have ever
had the misfortune to experience in my life. Whoever
thought laxatives for weight-loss was a good idea was a
complete and total dumbass. I didn't eat anything all day,
so I didn't have anything to poop out, so I just had a
whole lot of pain for about 2 hours. From 10pm to
midnight. The whole time, I just wanted to die 1) from the
pain and 2) for being so stupid to take 4 laxatives in the
first place. I told Snookums what I did and he pretty much
laughed at me, called me stupid (without actually calling
me stupid) and told me I'd never live this down. He
carries around in his head all of my most idiotic moments
and he's added this one to that mental list.

I'm over the physical pain now, and I can say with the
utmost certainty that I'll NEVER do that again. The
bulimics of the world can keep their laxatives, because
that method of weight-loss is incredibly flawed. I did
lose 2 pounds yesterday. I was 179 yesterday morning and
this morning I was a low 177.4. Not far from 176, but I
didn't intend to drop that much so quickly. I just didn't
want to gain any from the chocolate. I'm starting to think
I didn't eat as much as I thought I had.

Even though I got a good result from yesterday's insanity.
I have no intention of taking such drastic measures like
that again. I'm so hungry, I'm weak and my stomach is
still a little tender, but I'm okay. I don't understand
how bulimics do this day in and day out. I'm not cut out
for an eating disorder. The strain and pain my body has
been through the last 24 hours is insane. How people can
do this for years, decades of their lives, I will never
understand. It's just crazy.

I'm going to find something healthy to have for breakfast.
I haven't eaten in 24 hours and I'm going to try to get
back on track, without binging and starting the cycle all
over again. Ciao.




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