Interrupted
My Life Thus Far
STOP F#%&ING JUDGING ME!!!
THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT TO ALL THE PEOPLE
WHO READ MY DIARY:
I LOVE FEEDBACK. I WELCOME FEEDBACK. BUT I DO NOT; I
REPEAT; DO NOT APPRECIATE UNSOLICITED JUDGEMENTS AND
UNINVITED CRITISISM ABOUT MY WEIGHT. IT IS NO ONE'S
BUSINESS HOW MUCH I TALK ABOUT MY WEIGHT LOSS. IN MY
DIARY. HOW OFTEN I BITCH ABOUT A SETBACK. IN MY DIARY. OR
HOW I FEEL ABOUT MYSELF IN GENERAL. IF YOU WANT TO MAKE A
COMMENT, MAKE IT POSITIVE OR DON'T MAKE IT AT ALL. THANK
YOU.
Okay, I feel better. I'm tired of people leaving random
comments about how I shouldn't be OBSESSED about my
weight. How I should think about other things, be happy
with myself the way I am. Learn to love myself. It's no
ones fucking business how much I talk about my weight. If
I want to fill every entry about how fat my ass is, then I
will. I'm constantly getting feedback from individuals who
think I should be happy the way that I am. If every person
in their family either DIED or was affected by nearly
every life-threatening, obesity-related illness on the
planet, would they take the chance of carrying around 70
extra pounds on the off chance the Grim Reaper would pass
them in a crowd? Hell no! They'd work their asses of
trying to get healthy so they could live a long,
fulfilling life. So why should I be any different? Why
don't they save their comments for the people with real
problems at this site? I came across the diary of a
suicidal anorexic who tried to jump off a pier today. Is
anyone feedbacking her? Lets all hope so.
Okay, now I really feel better. Anyway, lets discuss my
day: I had a good day. I'm still cutting and sorting
through the portraits I got done of the girls last month.
Trying to decide which grandparents get which pictures and
what ones I'm keeping for myself. I want to be fair, but
it seems all the poses I love the most I only got 1 or 2
of and I know both Snookums' mother and father will want
it. But what they don't know, won't hurt them. I'm trying
my best to be diplomatic. It's moments like that when I
wish they were still married, and didn't live 3,000 miles
apart. But, then I wouldn't have Helena and that would
suck. She's probably the best thing that's every happened
to Snookums or his dad.
I've been a bit on edge emotionally today (as you could
probably guess by my public announcement :) I've been a
bit perturbed all day and every little thing seems to be
grating on me like nutmeg on a rasp. I got to one point
tonight, I didn't know if I wanted to laugh, cry, scream
or throw something. So, I just zoned out in front of Dr.
Phil and let the moment pass. What the hell is wrong with
me? I don't know, but it better pass soon, or my family is
going to tie me to the bed and try to exorcize me :) Ciao.
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