Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2005-10-16 05:15:35 (UTC)

Worn Out and Frazzled

We didn't go to Tacoma today. Neither Snookums nor I felt
up to the drive. Instead, we opted for Toys-R-Us (parent
company of Babies-R-Us) in Silverdale (across from our
mall). We got Kiki the Fisher Price Healthy Care Aquarium
Activity Center highchair. It's got a toy that snaps to
the feeding tray, so while you're cooking or if you just
want her to be contained, she's got something to play
with. It plays music and has fishes swimming around and
she can make them move. She loves it! There were at least
10 models to choose from. They even had the matching
highchair that goes with the carseat/stroller combination
and playpen Kiki's already got. But I had a specific set
of criteria that the chosen chair had to meet and that one
didn't. It had cloth and I wanted vinyl, because cloth
would have to be machine washed daily and vinyl can just
be wiped down with some antibacterial cleaner and it's
ready for the next meal. The chair we ended up picking is
called the Healthy Care because it's got Microban build
into the plastic, so that it inhibits the growth of
bacteria and the feeding tray can be removed and put in
the dishwasher to be sterilized. I LOVE that. I constantly
had to bleach Annie's highchair when she was a baby, it
was too big to clean any other way (it didn't fit in the
sink and it couldn't go in the dishwasher and we all know
how many germs live in the kitchen sponge), but thankfully
6 years has made a monumental difference in the way baby
furniture is made.

Enough about the highchair, lets talk about me; I have
been feeling COMPLETELY out of balance lately. Today I've
been on the verge of tears all day, and I just finished
crying in Snookums' arms about half an hour ago, because I
broke a nail (no, I'm not kidding). He's always so
sympathetic of me when I cry. Since the day we started
dating, he'd do whatever is within his power to keep me
from, or stop me after I start crying. I love that man so
much. I love him for loving me so completely and
wholeheartedly, with nothing expected in return. Every
woman deserves a great man like Snookums.

Snookums is convinced that my emotional imbalance is due
to another pregnancy. It wasn't so long ago (this time
last year) that he'd experienced the tell-tale shift in
hormones, so it's still fresh in his mind. I'm still
holding on to PMS, in the hopes that in a week or 2 I'll
be greeting Aunt Flow. I felt extreme emotions of panic
and fear at the thought of having another baby so soon.
Kallista would only be about 14 months old, hardly self-
sufficient (like Annie) and I'd be alone, because Snookums
is going out to sea next year. If I am pregnant again, I
swear either I'm getting my tubes tied or Snookums is
getting a vasectomy. I've never liked the idea of either
him or I being surgically altered, but I'll consider it
over being pregnant every year because I'm irresposible
and can't use birth control right.

I'm going to bed now. I'm so worn out and frazzled. Ciao.




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