Interrupted
My Life Thus Far
Trying To Be Miss Independent
Another full day has come and gone. I got all of my
laundry done and the floors swept. I also disinfected the
kitchen, scrubbed the bathtub (we have really hard water
that leaves very stubborn soap scum) and I mopped, just
because I think it looks better freshly mopped. And I like
the squeaky sound my shoes make when I walk across a clean
floor :) I made a pretty good dinner for Annie and I, too.
Broiled halibut with steamed vegetables. The past few
nights I haven't been cooking. Annie is happy with a
peanut butter and jelly sandwich and apple slices as long
as you give her ovaltine to go with it. I've just been
having frozen vegetables in the microwave or slim-fast.
Snookums is my big eater and without him here to eat,
what's the use in cooking elaborate meals? If Annie wanted
them, that would be a different story. Right now her
tastes aren't very discriminating. She wanted a butter
sandwich for dinner tonight. Yes, I said BUTTER. She's
headed straight for a heart attack if she tries to eat
things like that as an adult. I stop her from doing it
now, but as a toddler, she'd eat the butter containers at
restaurants. The ones at McDonald's for pancakes and such.
I've heard of other kids doing it, so I know she isn't
weird or anything.
I started missing Snookums today. I haven't been giving
myself permission to miss him the past few days and it's
starting to catch up to me. I'm trying to be Miss
Independent, don't need a man to make me happy, single and
loving it. But that's not me. I've never wanted to be
single. I love being married. And my husband does make me
happy. We've been through unimaginable things together and
because of that, the bond we have is very strong. I can't
imagine not having him in my life. Everybody needs love.
I've found it and I don't like having to let it go. Annie
is starting to miss him, too. He was reading her a thick
book of Disney Princess stories at bedtime and I've had to
take that over. Tonight she looked up at me and said "I
miss Daddy". It may not sound like a major thing, but it
was sad and hard for me to hear. I remember what it feels
like for your daddy to leave. My daddy left when I was
little, too. I knew he was on the ship, but I didn't
understand why he had to go and it seemed like an eternity
before he came home. I can see why the divorce rate is so
high in the military. I knew what I was getting myself in
to, having lived through it as a child. But there are lots
of women who don't know the first thing about being left
behind and they run to the first man that comes along to
comfort them. I've seen in hundreds of times. Once, when I
was still living with my parents. The woman across the
street was having an affair while her husband was out to
sea. He came home early and wanted to surprise her, so he
walked home from the ship. He knocked on the door (to
surprise her, boy did he) and when she answered, she
pretended to be so overjoyed to see him, while she hugged
him and made a scene on the front porch, her lover was
jumping out a window at the side of the house. It was
hilarious. This was just one example of what goes on in
military housing. Her husband ended up finding out, they
got divorced and she married the lover. Happy ending, huh?
Well, I'm bushed. I'll be heading to bed now. Why I feel I
need to tackle every job in sight is beyond me, but I'm
certainly not losing any sleep over Snookums being gone :)
Ciao.
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