Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2005-09-13 02:58:04 (UTC)

Stunning Realization

I made a stunning realization on my morning walk, today.
Instead of using Kiki's stroller, I opted for her
CozyRider (her front carrier). I strapped her to my chest,
not thinking much of it and headed out. I got about half a
mile when it occured to me that I was significantly more
out of breath than usual. And then it hit me. Kiki weighs
somewhere between 17 and 18 pounds. The amount of weight
that I've lost so far. Strapping her to my chest was like
adding those 18 pounds back on my body. This morning's
walk was symbolic of the first walk I took when I decided
I was ready to make a change. I was so tired, so out of
breath, I didn't know how far I'd be able to go. I've been
beating myself up, thinking that 18 pounds was nothing,
that I'm making slow progress, but carrying Kiki like that
made me realize how heavy 18 pounds is. It made me proud
of myself. I've made wonderful progress and now, I can
finally be proud of it!

Amanda and Cassie came by today to bring Snookums some
study material for his First Class test. It's coming up
next month and I honestly don't think he's ready. I hope
he takes advantage of all of the schools he's been going
to the past month and he uses the books they brought him
tonight. I know he wants to pass the test and make rank,
but I don't think he's putting in the work necessary to
get the result he wants. I don't want him to realize this
when he fails the test. Maybe I can persuade him to study
some over this next month. Amanda and Cassie took the test
to make Second Class and they said it was hard. I'm only
guessing that making First will be even harder, but what
do I know about the Navy.

I was reading this month's issue of O magazine and Oprah
said something that I found very profound. "Make a
decision, then watch your life move forward. You must make
a decision and then make a commitment to that decision." I
swear it's like she was talking directly to me. It's
exactly what I've been trying to do with my life. I'm
feeling so uplifted and positive. I feel wonderful and I
hope it wears off on others.




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