Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2005-09-07 03:58:06 (UTC)

PTA Or No PTA, That Is The Question

I don't feel like today was such a good day. Not going on
my walk has thrown me off. I've gotten use to a certain
schedule and I miss not sticking to it. Damn these
blisters! I did my Pilates, but I didn't feel as
challenged after I finished, as I normally do when I walk.
Tomorrow is the start of week 3 of bootcamp and I'm not
feeling that I've done a good job this week of losing
weight. I've only lost 2 pounds in the past week. I know
that is a healthy amount of weight loss, but I'm still
stuck in the idea of losing weight quickly. A few years
ago, I lost 50 pounds in 2 months by not eating more than
1000 calories a day and exercising 2 hours a day,
everyday. It was a wonderful feeling, getting on the scale
and being lighter everyday, but when I went back to eating
normally I gained all of the weight back again and then
some. I'm trying to do things right now, because I know
I'll be able to maintain the weight loss and not gain it
all back. I hate thinking about my weight so much. I'll be
happy when I reach my goal weight and can start a
maintainence diet, where I don't have to be concerned with
losing, only staying were I am. That will be a happy day.

The open house went really well. Annie got to meet her
teacher and see her classroom. She was happy to see some
of the kids she went to school with last year. I ran into
some people I knew in the past (their children also attend
Kitsap Lake). For a few moments I considered joining the
PTA. I don't know why, but when we left the school, I had
this warm, fuzzy feeling, like I'd been somewhere
comfortable and I belonged there. The reality of the
matter, is that I just don't know how to work PTA
responsibilities into my life, without stretching myself
thin again. Before I had Kiki I went to work from 4am-
12pm. I went to classes from 12:30pm-5:00pm. When I got
home around 5:45pm, I made dinner, got Annie ready for
bed, did homework, spent time with Snookums, then went to
bed at 10pm and got up and did it all over again. I
learned to live on 4 or 5 hours of sleep, but I was always
so exhausted. When I was 7 months pregnant I quit my job
and just went to school until I had Kiki. I barely
finished school before I had her. I finished all of my
finals on Friday and she was born on Monday morning. Now
I'm scared to take anything on or I'll end up overextended
like I was only a matter of months ago. Eventually, I'll
work activities into my life and I'll find a happy medium
before I get overworked.

Oprah's coming on in 5 minutes, so I must go. Tonight
she's in New Orleans and I don't want to miss it. I hope
she does something wonderful for the hurricane survivors,
like she's done for so many other people. Ciao.

P.S. I didn't touch a single bite of ice cream tonight. I
didn't even want to! I'm proud of myself!




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