Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2005-09-03 06:32:20 (UTC)

Hunger: The Bane Of My Existance

I'M SO HUNGRY!!! Snookums has duty tonight (he has to
watch the ship, like someone is going to walk off with an
aircraft carrier) since he had to leave at 4pm, we had
dinner early, so we could still eat together. I meant to
have a snack later, something to get me through the
evening, through the 3 hours before bedtime, but somehow I
got busy and when I looked at the clock it was already
past 8pm and it was too late to eat. I tried to sip on
green tea with splenda, now I'm drinking a diet pepsi and
the sweetness has tricked my body a little, but I'll be
glad when breakfast time rolls around. The no eating 3
hours before bedtime thing is the only aspect of Oprah's
Bootcamp that I'm having issues with. I know it's for my
own good, but once I'm done with it I'm going to go back
to having something to eat in the evening. Even if it's
only a piece of fruit. I don't intend to go back to my old
ways, I'm just going to modify Oprah's suggestions so they
will work for me and I'll be able to live with the new
lifestyle for the long term, not the "until I lose 50 more
pounds" term. Lately, I haven't been having too much
trouble with not eating at night. It's just tonight,
because my routine was finagled.

Even though Snookums has duty and I didn't get to spend
the evening with him, and I don't get to sleep next to him
tonight. I'm still okay. I'm using the time to do more
with the girls. Annie, Kiki and I went for a walk to the
library and Annie got some books. I read her one of them
before putting her to bed and then, I started feeling a
bit lonely. But, I told myself it's only one night and
it's good practice. I'm using all the short times Snookums
is away from me to prepare for when the Stennis is
finished being retrofitted and goes away for a few months
at a time. We haven't been apart for more than 2 weeks in
our entire relationship, because I met him when he wasn't
on a ship, but on shore duty. My father and step-father
were both in the Navy and left for 6 or 9 months at a
time, but I didn't care about them, so I didn't care if
they were gone. Now I have an invested interest. If
Snookums hadn't made the Navy his career before I'd even
met him, I would ask him to get out so he would never have
to leave me. Forgive me, I'm just being weak because I'M
HUNGRY!! For some reason I'm finding it harder not to eat
being alone in the evening than when Snookums is home.
When he's here, he knows I'm not suppose to eat, but when
I'm alone, who's going to know? I will, and I'm motivated
to NOT break my contract with myself. I'm holding myself
accountable for my actions. How did this get back on
eating again?

I'm tired. I'm going to bed and the first thing I'm going
to do when I get up in the morning, is make a good
breakfast!Ciao.




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