Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2005-08-31 03:21:15 (UTC)

Happiness Isn't Illusive

This entry will be short, because I want to do Pilates and
read before I go to bed. I finally dusted off my Pilates
DVD and I'm so glad I did, because I feel so empowered
when I do it. I feel long, lean and strong when I finish
and for the first time since Kiki was born, my back
doesn't hurt. Short of living off of painkillers, I wasn't
sure what I was going to do about my back pain, but I've
found a solution. I'm sure when I get more strength in my
abs (which Pilates will give me) my back won't hurt
anymore, but until then just doing the movements to give
me those stronger abs will relieve my pain. If only
temporarily.

I'm so proud of myself. My progress is amazing and I owe
it all to myself. I can honestly say that I'm trying to do
better for myself, so I can be better for my family. My
mental attitude is better and I'm just plain happier.
Maybe taking control of my life was all I needed to be
happy. I was so busy blaming the people who had done bad
things to me for the way my life was, that I wasn't owning
up to what I had done to make my life unhappy. The wool
has been lifted from my eyes and now I see what I need to
do. Maybe happiness isn't so illusive after all.




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