Interrupted
My Life Thus Far
Breastmilk, Laundry and Dancing In The Rain
I use to enjoy my weekends of lounging around the house
doing nothing. I looked forward to them with the utmost
excitement. Today, that couldn't have been further from
the truth. What could possibly have changed me that much
in just three days? Last weekend I stayed in bed 45 of the
48 hours and loved every minute of it. This weekend was
the complete polar opposite. I wasn't at home hardly at
all yesterday and I didn't want to be sitting around
today, when I was allowed the day to rest. I wanted to
take a walk, but Snookums said no. He thinks I'm
exercising too much and not eating enough. My milk supply
is taking a hit, but I looked up on the internet that it
will bounce back within a few days. I've got surplus
pumped milk in the freezer in case I need to supplement
Kiki's diet. I keep pumped milk in the freezer just in
case Kiki and I ever need to be apart for extended periods
(longer than a day), but I doubt that will ever come up.
Anyway, I digress. What I ended up doing today wasn't too
far off of what I'd planned to do. Snookums and I put away
Kiki's laundry. I hate putting away all of the millions of
tiny socks and thousands of onesies she goes through on a
weekly basis. I know some mommies love baby laundry, but I
don't. It takes too long. The girls took an afternoon nap,
so we did too. I took a long, hot bath and got some
reading and "me" time in. I cooked dinner and we've just
been chilling in front of the tv most of the evening.
Snookums and I did take a moment to spark some romance
into our relationship. It started raining around 8pm, for
the first time in weeks. I was so surprised to hear it
that I said to Snookums "We should go out and dance in the
rain" and to my amazement he said, "Okay, lets go". We
went out in the back yard, in the down pour of cold,
pelting rain and we danced until we couldn't handle the
icy cold any more. It was a wonderful feeling. Even the
ice cold rain was nice, because I could feel it. I could
feel something other than internal agony and mental pain.
It made me feel alive, like I was living in the moment and
not waiting for the moment to end. Finally, the black
cloud that's been hanging over me for so long is finally
starting to lift and things that use to mean something,
mean something again. I'm cleaning up after the storm. I'm
sweeping away the wreakage and starting a new life, the
way it should be, the way it should have always been. I'm
alive.
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