Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2005-08-09 18:44:19 (UTC)

I Don't Want To Bungee Jump

I must be feeling better, because I'm not feeling like I
need to write constantly. The past few weeks, all I wanted
to do was write about my emotions. Now I feel like I'm
getting a better handle on things. I'm able to deal with
my emotions better and I haven't cried uncontrolably (or
at all) in almost a week (5 days). Maybe the hearing
really was a catalyst. Even though it's not over, it feels
over. We still have all the child support paperwork to do,
but Helena (Snookums' Step-mother) called Mr. Franz (an
attorney we worked with a couple of years ago). I've got
an appointment with him on Thursday to finish any
paperwork that may be left to do after this batch. Helena
said she'll pay for whatever it takes to get it done.
We're really going to need Mr. Franz in a year when my
step-father gets out of prison and gets a job. Then we'll
have to officially get a court order and set the child
support amount. At least I get a year off from the
judicial system.

Snookums has duty tonight :( I'm not happy about it, but
I'm not panicking with desperation for him to come home. I
love him so much and I want to be with him constantly, but
I'm okay that he's not with me right now. I think I'm
doing better. Snookums was starting to worry about me and
I don't blame him. I was one nut away from being a fruit
cake. Not to say that I think depression is something you
can just one day wake up and be over. Not so, I think it's
something that you have to will yourself to get through
and I just wasn't ready to do that last month. I'm ready
to live. I don't want to bungee jump, but I do want to get
out of bed in the morning. I got some of the things done
that I wanted to yesterday. I didn't get them all done,
because Snookums came home early and I stop working when
he gets home, but I'll finish my list today and I'm going
to be proud of myself!




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