Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2005-08-03 16:36:19 (UTC)

The Last Day of This Life

On the scale of WANTING TO KILL MYSELF to WANTING TO DANCE
A JIG, I'm somewhere around WANTING TO CLEAN THE HOUSE.
I'll settle for that. Today is the last day of my life as
I've known it, because tomorrow is the first day of the
rest of my life, and I must prepare by getting my things
(my home) in order. Tomorrow is the sentancing hearing for
my step-father. It will be the first time seeing him since
January of 2003 (That was before anyone knew what was
going on and I was still putting on a show). I wrote my
statement, the District Attorney has it, Snookums wrote
his, he'll be reading it himself, and I'm okay. I think.
My Mother-in-law e-mailed and said "Remember Friday comes
after Thursday". I'll remember that. Tomorrow will end, no
matter how painful and then it will be Friday, a new day.
So, today I have to:

* Clean the house (if I come home devastated, I want to be
devastated in a clean house)
* Wash Kiki's clothes, and pick her outfit for court
* Iron my outfit (that I so carefully selected so I'd look
properly stylish and successful, but demure at the same
time. A simple black pantsuit covered by a black and white
sequined shawl{it isn't as flashy, as it sounds})
* Pick out Snookums' outfit (I'm leaning towards his black
slacks and his Rocawear button-down shirt. He'll also look
properly stylish and successful, but respectable, too.

Those aren't the only things I have to do today. I also
have to finish the documents for back child support and
return them to the Kitsap County District Attorney. I've
got two cases against my step-father going at the same
time, in two different counties and it's getting confusing
and redundant. Kitsap county wants to do a paternity test
to establish a court order for child support, but Island
county already has the paternity test results and are
sentancing him for 1st degree felony incest and aggravated
comments (I guess he said bad things about me to
investigators on top of everything else, God he's stupid).
I'm going to call today and ask why they can't share
information, because if they don't, Annie is going to have
to do another paternity test. She was too young to
remember the first one, but she'll remember now and I'll
have to answer questions I'm not ready to answer, yet.
Today, I also want to write my Aunt Christina a letter.
She's the only family I have in the area and since this
whole thing came to the surface she hasn't wanted to have
a thing to do with me or Annie. I wrote her almost a year
ago to tell her I was pregnant and to send her pictures of
Annie and I got no reply, not even to never write her
again. That was painful, but now I'm determined. I'm
starting a new life and I need to know if she wants to be
in it or not, and if not, she needs to tell me herself.
I'll write until she tells me not to.

Well, instead of sitting here WRITING what I need to do, I
need to DO what I need to do. I'll write later or tomorrow
morning to let you know how things are going. Hopefully, I
don't have a breakdown or a meltdown and don't get done.




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