Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2005-08-01 21:56:57 (UTC)

Sleepy and Sluggish

I'm feeling totally drained and exhausted today. As good
as I felt yesterday, I'm the complete polar opposite
today. Snookums has duty, so he's not coming home tonight.
Duty days are hard on me. I depend so much on Snookums
that I'm not sure what to do without him. That frightens
me and makes me mad. I shouldn't need him as much as I do.
What am I going to do when his ship leaves and I'm left
alone for months, not days? I don't want to think about
it. I just feel so sleepy and sluggish. I don't even feel
sad, I feel like I have no energy and nothing to work for.
So what if the house isn't clean, so what if I don't cook.
Snookums isn't here to see it or care. I'm even too run-
down to write. I don't like it, but it's how I feel. How
have I become the woman that depends on a man for her self-
worth? At least he's a good man and not an abusive one. I
can be greatful for that small consolation.




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