I cut myself

Welc0meXtoXmyXlife
2004-07-09 00:18:26 (UTC)

xXx Pieces...pieces...pieces of me xXx

Hey. ok, today wasn't the best of days..Michael from
louisiana called and talked to me...then bob and tommy got
into a fight..and i jumped in between mom and tommy
bitching..and well thats all on that subject.

then,i went to josh's at like 4 and waited for josh....he
never came.
then when i was getting ready to leave, he showed up and
was like "i'm not gonna be here that long, i'm going to a
party with mac" then he was like "what happened to ur face"
and he was yelling at me for getting upset at him
and then, whenever i reminded him that he said he'd watch
a movie with me today...he was like "i forgot" and as soon
as i told him i was going to the Mcmechan street fair
tomorrow, he got mad and was like "But i leave sunday! are
we gonna spend anytime together?!" and i looked at him and
was like "I thought thats what we were gonna do today"
then he got mad at me b/c i didn't wanna french kiss...i
wasn't in the mood...but i ended up doing it anyways.
we argued a little more. but
then i came home when he left.

right now, i feel like dieing. there's nothing that seems
worth living for right now. i feel empty inside, i wanna
slit my wrists...just for fun.
after josh is gone, there's nobody to take care of me,
nobody that cares for me like he does...not even in that
kind of way...all i have is "friends" and maybe josh wont
leave me, or i wont leave him, or w/e ..but we already
agreed that after high school and we go to college, we're
gonna break up...if not before then.
i hate myself so much right now...i feel like i should
be punished...
I love josh.
megan




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