I cut myself

Welc0meXtoXmyXlife
2003-12-23 04:15:15 (UTC)

break down...

Hey.
what's up?
today was fun...till about 6pm... me and josh were laying
on brooks bed, talking, and then, he was like "why haven't
u been eating?" and i was like...what are you talking about?
and he goes "when was the last time u ate?" and i was
like "when gramma got me and u mcdonalds" and he
goes "MEGAN!!! that was 3 fucking days ago!!"
and i was like "oh, it was?" and he was like, what are you
doing to urself?
and i just started crying, and he goes "whats wrong?" and
i was like "nothing" and he goes "i'm not stupid" and i was
like "i just don't think i'm attractive" and he goes "but
you are, i swear on your life, nothing cross counts that
your attractive, and i love you with all my heart" and i
was like "i know you love me, and i love you, but just
because you think i'm attractive, that doesn't mean other
ppl think i am"
and he was like "they do, everybody in the basement wants
to fuck you"
and i was like, "no josh,thats not it"
and i just cried, and cried...and then josh was crying,
because i was crying, and he felt bad for me, and stuff
mostly because of what alexa has said to me before..
and it just upset him...
finally, after him asking me all these questions about it,
the phone rang, and it was for me...Thank god
i feel weird talking to josh about my physical appearance,
because i hate it, all of it, my boobs, my butt,
everything. my face
i have low self esteme, and i'm not afraid to admit it...
thats when somebody asks me something about myself, i
change the subject, or leave.
i hate talking about it, but maybe this will help.
anyway,
I'm gonna go talk to my sean...he's hurt..I loverz him

I LOVE JOSH DICE!!!!
I LOVE YOU TOO SEAN, I hope you get better.




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