I cut myself

Welc0meXtoXmyXlife
2003-06-27 02:25:27 (UTC)

I am but a goldfish..gasping for air

hey!! jenna was intown today... i was talkin 2 sean online
and tony called and was like Jenna's here...she wants to
see you..
so i got dressed and met sean at tony's...everyone noticed
the Hicky.. when they asked who did it.. before sean could
say anything..I was like 'jester did it...'
i told jenna that it was really me, i was afraid she'd be
pissed at me..seeings how I love josh so much...
she wasn't, she understood. thats what makes her so great
to talk to...she listens.
i came home early...
and this may sound a little sick...but here it goes.
i was cleaning my fish tank..and my goldfish was all tore
up from my oscar..so i put him in a different tank...and
when i walked outta the room...for a little while, i guess
the goldfish wasn't adapting to the water..b/c he started
to die.. i walked back in the room and instead of putting
him back into the regular tank i sat and watched him
die...watched him gasp for air..and it reminded me..of
myself
because he was fine when i first put him in the tank..
just like i was fine at first when josh left..
then slowly..his breath became shorter and shorter..he was
gasping for life..
like i am.. every day josh is gone..its getting harder and
harder to keep going..
finally..the fish sank to the bottom of the tank...
just like i will..i'll sink to eternal darkness...if i
don't get a sign that everything will be ok...
just like the fish..he woulda been ok if i had of put him
back into the regular tank.
I LOVE JOSH DICE Megan




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