I cut myself

Welc0meXtoXmyXlife
2003-05-26 15:18:36 (UTC)

*my birthday/josh is supposed 2 come home

hey. its 11:00am
i've been awake since 8am. didn't sleep much last night,
kept thinking about what aunt reva said. she
said "sometimes josh will say one thing, and mean,or do
another" basically she's saying that josh might have said
he's gonna come back.. or wants to come back...but not
really want to.
I layed in bed thinking about it. what if he comes
back..and isn't as happy as he was down in tucker?
Gramma called me at 9am and was like "megan, i'm on my way
down..get dressed." so i did. she took me to breakfast at
mcdonalds.. bought me a bunch of flowers.. and bought me a
camera..and goes "now you have something to take pictures
of josh and ur click with" she's the first person who
wished me happy birthday.
Momma's still sleeping.she'll be in bed all day. she was
on the computer all night..big surprise.
sarah and jessica and maddeline will be home today. I can't
wait, i miss them too much for my own health. i've grown to
love them. I even miss jessica's freaky eyes. lol
and maddeline's bounciness..
sarah's attitude.. lol
I'm talkin to joker online right now. he's actually being
half decent, for once.
he and jester are coming intown today..seeing how its my
birthday
joker and me have decided that he's done a pretty good job
on turning me into a freak
anyway... i'll write more later.. I have to get a shower
hey its 11pm. josh came home, he told me how he had fun this weekend.
he's moving back to tucker june 7th
he's gonna break up with me before he goes...
i'm so sad..i feel like dieing. but i'll never tell that to josh.
i want him to be happy,and telling him that i don't want him to go
would make me a selfish person. and i don't want him to have to worry
about me when he's gone.
happy fucking birthday to me.
Megan




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